Changes..and random thoughts September 9, 2005
Posted by spacemom in : Life...otherwise , add a commentAs you can see, I’ve made a few changes around here. I am still trying to get rid of some of that extra space at the top, but not bad.. not bad at all!
The whole situation in the South has gotten me depressed. I wish I could blog about it to get out my anger and frustrations, but I can’t. I am not sure why.
Have you ever wondered why things go crazy sometimes?
Here’s a link to the X-ray output of the sun. The sunspot group causing all of this crap is just rotating into view. Lovely
Anything above the M is BAD…. Our spacecraft is shut down right now… And we expect it to be for the next week now that the sun is spitting up again…
Sigh… I need some chocolate. Oh and I am PMSy…
On second thought, I wanted to add some more stuff.
5 years ago yesterday, I had a D&E. My first pregnancy, my little pathfinder, was gone. We had tried for a year at that point. You know the routine, the tests, the temperatures, the “I don’t see any reason why you can’t get pregnant” bullshit. And then we did. We got pregnant. and then I had bleeding, and the ultrasounds that showed a much smaller baby than expected and then the next ultrasound with no growth a week later. I still have a scar on the back of my right hand where they botched the IV during the D&E. Dr. Jay calls it a physical scar to go with all of the emotional scars. A person I know thinks that I should forget all of this since I have my daughters now… But how can you forget?
I still remember the fact that they started up everything, just to have the doc run off for an emergency C-section. I remember getting a mega headache from the drugs. I remember the raw pain of signing the “parental” form for what to do with the remains.
So tonight, I am going to give my girls extra hugs, because you never do forget the pain…
