For those who know my on-line, I suffer post partum depression. For those who truly know me, I am a depressive person. One of the songs on Luna’s bedtime CD is Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata. I don’t know if I can describe in words the impression this music puts on me. I will try. Here is a recording of this piece.
The left hand plays an undercurrent that is reminiscent of a rolling ocean. I can see the waves moving back and forth in my mind, but they are not comforting, rather they speak of an angry ocean that is looking to claim human souls as trophies. The right hand plays a melody that makes one seek the source, a siren calling for the person to come find it. I find myself drifting, while I hold Luna, my eyes closed, searching the dark shore for this siren. I can feel myself being pulled towards the dark waters, I can almost see the dead under the waves, beckoning me to come forth and join. There is an overwhelming desire inside me to let myself walk into the water, let the waves swallow me and leave no trace of me behind.
No, this is not a suicidal post, but an glimpse into how a simple song can overpower one’s emotions.