Darkness descends again December 6, 2005
Posted by spacemom in : Depression, Nance, Religion , 2 commentsIt’s that time of year again folks! Winter Solstice time! YEAH! NOT!
I very much dislike this time of the year. I have disliked it more and more since I moved to Boston. We are way too far East. I have a friend who is up in Maine. I can’t imagine how she handles this. It is 4:30pm. It is dark out. This is a hint of the sun,slowly descending behind the Earth, but other than that, it is dark. I feel it starting around 2pm, the skies start to darken. My eyes and my brain can not explain to my body that it is really happening. My body thinks that it is mid afternoon. It is time to sit back and have a cup of Joe and relax before the late afternoon rush to finish things. My eyes tell my brain that it is time to go to bed. I can’t reconcile these things and I start to get depressed.
I tend to sink into these depressions most around the time of my cycle. It is good to understand these things, but even more depressing to realize that your mood is affected by hormones that your probably won’t need anymore. At least not to reproduce. I wish sometimes that I could control my mood more just by saying "Hey, you! SNAP OUT OF IT!" but I can’t. It doesn’t work.
Now the dome of the observatory outside of my window is just a faint silhouette against the black sky. I see a touch of color around the trees, but that it is. The sun has set. And it’s not even 5pm.
