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Desperate Update March 17, 2006

Posted by spacemom in : I dream of sleep , 6 comments

Well, Last night was one massive CF*.
Luna went to bed ok. When she got up at 2, I got her sippy. She took one look and asked for her bottle. I told her that the bottles were sleeping because it was nighttime. Ok, she took that pretty well. She took 2 sips out of the sippy and decided that was enough.

Then the fun began.

I told her that we could only snuggle for 2 songs. Then I put her in her bed. I even climbed in with her. She rested for 30 minutes. She never fell asleep, just rested near me. I climbed out of her bed and
sat in the comfy chair that is next to her bed and rubbed her back. I left after 25 more minutes and rested on the couch while she complained to me. I came back in 5 minutes and rubbed her back and
told her mommy had to go to bed. I left and again the complaints. I traded with Dr. Jay (I had actually heard her at 1:30 and thought I got her then..Lack of sleep). I didn’t sleep during the next hour
where Dr. Jay and Luna fought over this idea of sleeping. I finally lost it and came out and Dr. Jay and I had a few choice words for each  other (not a good mommy/daddy moment). He went to bed, I sat in the chair next to Luna crying (me, not Luna). She rubbed my hand until I stopped crying. Then she tried to get out of bed again. I told her no, you have to sleep.

She protested. I put her back down. Then I turned her light on a little. I put her sippy back in the fridge. She complained for her milk. So I brought it back. She tried to get up again. I told her NO, MOMMY HAS TO SLEEP. She laid back down and I left.

She protested some more, but never a full-blown cry. She was protesting on and off until 5am. I fell asleep then. She did put herself back to sleep without us.

At 6:40am, Soleil came in our room.

I want to say this was a failure. But at the same point, I don’t think  it was.

1) she didn’t need milk. As I suspected, she is using the bottle as a comfort. This is something we let Soleil do far too long overnight. I want to break that habit now. She has her pacifiers which is something Soleil gave up at 3 months.

2) She did eventually go to sleep without us. Dr. Jay pointed out that  we could have had her down in 10 minutes if we held her in the chair and gave her a bottle. Yes, we could have, but the point is to help
her learn how to soothe herself to sleep.

3) She didn’t get so upset that she was sobbing uncontrolably. I can’t stand that. It is hard enough for me to hear her complaining, but a full sobbing kills me.

So I am planning to be the on-call parent again tonight. At least I know I can sleep in until 8 tomorrow morning, so I will be more patient with Luna and help her sleep. I can’t give up after one
day. We will help her sleep. She will learn. It’s my goal to help her learn.

In one way, helping her sleep is as important as helping Soleil learn to calm herself when she goes non-linear…

* CF= cluster fuck

Desperate Post March 16, 2006

Posted by spacemom in : I dream of sleep , 1 comment so far

I am getting desperate.

We need sleep.
Dr. Jay and I have a plan.

Tonight, Luna gets her nighttime bottle. When she wakes over
night(notice I said when, not if, because Dr. Jay and I can count the
nights of complete sleep in the last 44 months on 2 hands. Maybe 3
hands, but we would not need a fourth), she will get a sippy. No
comfort of the bottle. Nope, sorry kiddo. T

onight, you get to learn
that sleeping all night is the good thing, waking is not fun anymore.

Tonight, after her sippy, Luna will go in her bed. We will rub her
back and pat her, but no more snuggle in chair for over an
hour. Sippy = chair
done = bed.

We have to start getting her to stay asleep. I am exhausted. Last
night we had another "Daddy is not touching me I have to scream"
night. We are both loosing it. And it is waking Soleil, the space
monster who has come into our bed every night for 5 nights in a
row. She cannot sleep straight, she must sleep in a way that bruises
my kidneys.

We have to get sleep.
The "No-Cry Sleep Solution" did not work,
the
"Cry It Out" is not acceptable for me.
So we are trying the "Awake is
not fun" plan. Let’s hope it works.

Any suggestions are welcome, but I will stick my tongue out at you if
you tell me to let her cry. She wakes Soleil, even if it is only for 5
minutes.

Kicking the tires March 15, 2006

Posted by spacemom in : Life...otherwise , 7 comments

OK, I’ve gotten over the great crazy mom moment I had last week. Whew. Now I am comfortable I can do this and survive.

Now onto bigger things. Looking for a new car! Yes, it is that time of life, when I have almost reached the limit of my Ford Contour and it’s electrical system. Note to readers: I have never owned a Ford that can survive longer than 7 years without an electrical problem. 6 years, ok, 7 years, things get iffy, pass the 7 year birthday, forget it. So this weekend, I took 2 cars for a test drive. I had been very interested in a Prius. But the benefits are not so great. First, I will not recoup the extra money spent on the synergy drive for several years and more importantly, most companies are taking advantage of more hybrids on the road so they can sell more gas guzzlers. I read a very interesting article on this and how the hybrid is becoming an image thing. And yes, I can’t justify the cool factor. Too bad, I can’t justify the extra $5K.

So, I am looking at the Honda Accord and the Toyota Camry. Manual transmission, of course. This often throws the sales person. A woman? Who wants a manual? Honey, wouldn’t you prefer this nice automatic transmission? Nope, not me. I LOVE standards. Really! My dad had a standard when I learned how to drive. Once I had my license, he took me out and taught me how to drive it. I loved it. The control! The power! The ability to accelerate quickly from that asshole at the stop light (whoops, alter ego coming out here). The ability to shift easily on a patch of ice and regain traction. Ah!

I went to Honda first, because I KNEW I didn’t really want the Accord. I mean, it’s a Honda. We are a Toyota family. Dr. Jay’s parents have had a Camry since forever. We have a Rav4. I want the Camry, I am going to get it. But I should drive the Accord just in case. The guys there were great. I called to check if they had one I could drive. A friend of mine has the Passat, and while it is one nice car, I have trouble clutching in it (might have to do with being 5ft3). But since I often enjoy drive on 128, aka the parking lot, I need to be able to clutch in stop and go traffic in comfort. I fell in love with it. Really. It was a smooth as butter. I could handle corners with ease. I went to a parking lot and screwed with the handling and the braking. I was able to park in a very tight spot easily. I loved the space in the backseat and I enjoyed how large and comfy the front felt.

Then I went to Toyota. I wanted to drive these puppies back to back to get a good comparison. First, the guy treated me like the chauvinistic pig he was. "Are you sure you want a manual transmission?" actually came out of his mouth. No,dumbas$, I thought I would test drive a car that I would never actually consider, OF COURSE I WANT A MANUAL! Then he went on to tell me how difficult they can be. I almost left. But instead I did the test drive.

For some reason, he insisted on coming along. I hate that. Just photocopy my license and let me go alone. I couldn’t get the seat in a good spot to clutch. Every time I clutched, I would whack my knee into the steering column. If I got far enough so I didn’t hit my knee, then the seat was too far back and I couldn’t depress the clutch all of the way. The sales guy kept wanting to show me what route to take. I wanted to ignore him because I knew what I wanted to test the car for. I had a series of hilly roads I wanted to take and when I started to drive there, he got all worried. Hello? How can I tell if the car will work for me if I drive it straight and level? I actually told him that and he said "most women don’t like hills" WTF?

Ok, I finished the test drive, got myself some Dunkin’ Donuts coffee and thought.

I really really like the Accord. The down side is that it is more expensive than the Camry. Not by much, but just enough. The Camry was really disappointing to me. I plan on keeping this next car for 8-10 years, so I want one that I will be comfortable with.

Now I need to find out when Honda offers financing deals…

File this under March 14, 2006

Posted by spacemom in : Mom Phrases , 3 comments

"things I never wanted to hear come out of my mouth"

"We DO NOT put things between our buttocks and walk around the house without pants! That is not polite! You can be naked, but not with THAT in your butt!"

(for the record, it was a kid’s wipe and she thought it was funny to waggle around the house with it not so politely placed.)

Queen Spacemom March 10, 2006

Posted by spacemom in : Spacemom , 1 comment so far

I am working from home today (on lunch break). I have an errand later I want to run and some library books to return. I think I’ll bike instead of using my car.

One advantage of working at home, is that I can blast music and ENJOY it. I worry at work that my neighbors will worry about my choices of music and that the men in the restroom next to my office may make a mess of themselves listening to my choices. (Yes, one wall of my office is next to the men’s room. And I am in a male dominated field. Fortunately, one of the past occupants of my office insisted on sound proofing on that wall. I only hear the  "kashunk" of the paper towel dispenser).

Today, the music station I was listening to had a live Queen show. There is nothing like data analysis while taking breaks to do air guitar to "Bohemian Rhapsody" or air Piano to "Under Pressure". I can’t do this at my office. And once I get an office mate again, I seriously can’t do that.

However, listening to Queen made me think. Have you ever listened to "Who Wants to Live Forever?". I wonder if  Brain May knew about Freddie Mercury’s state of health when he wrote this. Maybe he didn’t, but somehow, this song seems to say more than just love is for today. Everything in this song just sends a chill down my spine. Because May is right. Who would want to live forever? We should experience all parts of life. I just hope that I do have a full time of life. That I live not forever, but long enough to watch my children grow into beautiful women, to watch them love, to hold them when their heart break, to cry with them, to watch as they build their own families.

I don’t want to live forever, but I do want to live until my life is complete. That may sound like Yogi Berra, but that is how I feel.

What was I thinking? March 9, 2006

Posted by spacemom in : Seeing the World Through Astronomy , 4 comments

In the merry month of May, I have a meeting in Florida. Orlando to be exact. My parents are 45 minutes to the east, so we are planning on bringing the whole SpaceFamily to Orlando. I just registered for the meeting, started to plan out my poster/paper, that thankfully is due BEFORE the meeting, and considered flight stuff when I got an email.

The email stated that Dr. Jay was the natural person to chair a session on this topic on Tuesday of a meeting in Pasadena. Please accept our invitation to be the chair and to attend the meeting. The exact quote was "You’re the ideal guy, of course."

Ok, wait, that meeting is the SAME WEEK as my meeting in Orlando. Well, technically, my poster goes up on Thursday. So, if Dr. Jay flies to the West Coast on Sunday, I could fly the girls down to Orlando, meet my parents, get set up in the hotel and then attend the meeting Wednesday and when Dr. Jay joins us….

Yes, I just agreed to be a single parent. In a hotel. Lots and lots of  miles away from home. Oh, and I agreed to take the kids. On a plane. BY MYSELF. Two kids, under 4, on a plane, by myself.

What the hell was I thinking?*

So I am starting to wonder if JetBlue has complimentary drinks for parents and how well their TVs work and if I should bring the DVD player too and should I just buy two travel carseats since Luna will fit within it at 25 lbs and oh my g-d I am overwhelming myself.

Repeat after me.. it is in MAY it is in MAY it is in MAY…I need a drink!

* I was thinking that yes, Dr. Jay is the perfect guy to do this and
really, his career is pretty important. I really do want him to go to
his meeting, and to come to mine as well. We never do think about how
well his career is doing until we get emails like that!

Guest reader March 8, 2006

Posted by spacemom in : Kids , 1 comment so far

Tomorrow, I get to be the guest reader at preschool! How exciting. I get to read "The Fox in Sox" Whoohoo. The excitement is dripping out of me. I really do think I should offer my time with Soleil. In fact, I have already planned on a spring day when I will show up at her school at rest time and take her out to Panera, which is in the same complex, and we can have a cookie and milk and just chat. Mommy and Soleil.

I think about how she is growing and learning. She is quite the thinker. She is also full of energy and spirit. Will I keep up with her? I don’t know.

Luna left me with little sleep last night. We removed the gate from her crib this weekend and she has a toddler bed now. She enjoys the freedom, but last night she enjoyed it for 3 hours.

I remind myself that this will pass… And one day, I will not be a guest reader to a preschool, but going to PTO meetings and other things and suddenly a bat mitzvah and another and somewhere, I will miss my little girls.

Mish Mash, Splish Splash March 7, 2006

Posted by spacemom in : Life...otherwise , add a comment

First, I want to say Thanks! to Sparky for holding her Masshole party!
I enjoyed it, although I was terrified that my kids would take the
place hostage. Instead, Soleil stalked the cookies, managed to talk
someone into handing her an entire cannoli and was generally a great
kid. Luna, on the other hand, attempted to steal toys, poked poor
Sparkydog until Sparky had to nip at her to tell her to stop, and
thought that climbing the stairs and letting go of the railing was a
fun thing to do! Thanks girl!

I am starting to hit a motivational stride. Have you ever hit a point
in your life where nothing seems to motivate you? Yes, that is me
right now. However, today I felt the first blast of motivation. I hope
it stays. Right now, I need Lots and lots of motivation.

We had some tile people out to our house for 2 bathroom retiling
projects. I am hoping that this goes quickly. I had someone lined up
and he would call and not leave messages. Honey, that worked in 1980
when nobody had caller ID, but I KNOW it is you. In fact, I constantly
ignore SUNY as they are trying to hit me up for money…We would be
out of our laundry room and 2 bathrooms while the work was done, but
we need to do this.

My children apparently have my klutzy gross motor skills. I was at a
friend’s house yesterday. Imagine three kids all 3 3/4 years old and 1
very adventurous 20 month old. We were discussing snack and when we
said cheese, my 20 month old went off to find it herself. After about
30 seconds my friend and I both realized she was gone. Then we heard
it, Thunk Thunk thunk thunk thunk, scream… Luna fell down the entire
flight of stairs. She has some bruises, but she seems ok otherwise.
sigh…

And to finish this mish mash, a Soleil day:

We were listening to Philadelphia Chickens today and got to the
"faraway cookies" were the little dog pines for the chocolate cookies
"high on the shelf". Soleil proceeds to tell us that a) she will make
cookies and put them in bags and b) she will make cookie wings.

Cookie wings?

Yes.

Why?

So I can get the cookies!

Oh, well, don’t fly up too close to the sun (thinking of Icarus).

Mommy (in that tone of "stupid mommy"), the cookie wings won’t have
frosting on them, they won’t be able to melt.

Sorry…

The BRAINY kid? really? March 7, 2006

Posted by spacemom in : Spacemom , add a comment

Oh Hell, they got me on this one….


Brainy Kid


In high school, you were acing AP classes or hanging out in the computer lab.

You may have been a bit of a geek back then, but now you’re a total success!
Who Were You In High School?

No No No March 4, 2006

Posted by spacemom in : Kids , 2 comments

From Soleil…

"Dr. Suess, the Lorax. Brought to you by Chuck E. Cheese, a proud sponsor of Sesame Street"

Oh crap, way too much PBS