I am following the journey of a fellow blogger who is working through some alcohol issues. No, I will not name this person. However, they brought up the interesting point of the second Step of AA.
The second step of the twelve is:"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."
Hmmm. I what does that mean? Does this mean G-d*? I think most people do. But my view of G-d is different than most. I am agnostic. Yes, an agnostic raising Jewish kids, go figure.
In my view, G-d is hanging out on a beach, drinking a Barcardi Breezer (when they were real alcohol, not this malt liquor shit), and just watches. G-d doesn’t interfere. Why would he/she? Could you imagine a world where everything WAS controlled by G-d? Does that mean that G-d MEANT for my friend’s child to have an extra chromosome that would destroy his body? Does this mean that Aunt Luna was supposed to die in a car accident? How about the time I worked my ass off and got a promotion? Me or G-d?
I kinda figure it’s an all or nothing proposition. Either G-d does all of the control or none. I tend to believe in the none. The other just takes away my free will. However, this doesn’t mean that I don’t believe in G-d. Just not in the way others do.
When Corey died, I had to scream to someone about it. G-d took the wrath. I then stopped talking to G-d. And finally we made up and started again. To me, G-d is a flow or energy to the universe. There are many things out of our control, but that doesn’t mean that someone controls them for us. There is a flow, an ebb and we are caught within this flow which brings us to and fro on this journey of life.
While writing this, it came to me that if I needed to name a "Power greater than myself" it would be love. The love of Dr. Jay, who picks me up when I need it. The love of my children who will still hug me
even when ice cream is a definite NO. The love of myself, which is still growing out of the seeds of insecurities.
Yes, Love is a power greater than myself, because it comes from outside of me…
* Yes Out of respect of Dr. Jay and the girls, I do not spell the name
of G-d. This is part of Judaism.