Talking with Depression January 18, 2007
Posted by spacemom in : Depression , trackbackI have thought of writing this up a while ago. To explain what it feels like… not today, but somedays…
I see you.
When you think I am not looking,
you are just over my shoulder.
You hide when I try to look face on.
You coward.
I see you.
In the day, when the rush of the morning is over
when the quiet settles in
You are there
waiting
At night, when I am rocking my babe to sleep
When all I can hear is her warm breath
I see you.
You are lurking
in the corner of my mind
watching me
We play this quiet game,
you hide, I try not to seek
But you are always there
Waiting to strike when I am faltering
And then I move in.
You might see me in the shadows
but you cannot see when I arrive
I am cold and uncaring,
why should I care?
You think you can beat me
you can’t! I will stay. I will show you
what dark really means
what cold really means
what empty is
I whisper in your ear
"You can beat this. You don’t need help"
Just to trick you
I remind you "No body understands. "
"nobody cares. You are not worth the time"
And I stay, as I wish
I watch you struggle to find emotions
and I quickly snuff them
as the flames of joy or love start to sputter
Despair is all you feel
Do you really wish me to leave?
Yes, I do, I don’t want you.
But don’t you know the truth?
I don’t want to know I won’t listen to you
You know it. You just are trying to ignore it
Leave, I don’t hear you anymore!
I can’t leave
I am you…
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