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So how many hours is okay? February 13, 2007

Posted by spacemom in : Weblogs, Kids, Mom Phrases , 5 comments

My good friend, The midlife Traveler, wrote an interesting post the other day, in which she opened herself up to criticism (sorry, MLT, you did). So, I thought about this. I am a part-time out of home worker. I have a 32 hour work week. My commute is 21 minutes (no traffic) to 1 hour (rush hour). Each way. I chose a daycare close to my work for several reasons,

  1. if there was an emergency, I could get there ASAP
  2. we could spend more time with our kids, talking on the ride there and home
  3. I didn’t like any daycares near our home!

The one thing that MLT said that made me think (and not get angry, because I know where she is coming from) is:

I’m still shocked by the reality that, in some households, allowing a
child the recommended number of hours of sleep would mean the parents
would literally not get to see their children when they got home from
work. 

Go ahead, shoot me for saying it: if your kid is away from you for 12
hours a day, 5 days a week, maybe you should have adopted a chihuahua.

NO FLAMING HER PLEASE…

This hits in a couple of ways:
First, our children are not good sleepers. They wake during the night (although luna is doing much better), and they don’t NEED as much sleep as the norm. Soleil usually sleeps from 10-7. That’s what, 9 hours of sleep? The guidelines say 10-13 hours a sleep for a child her age.

Second, we both work! So I started thinking about the time away from my girls.

Let’s take the "average" family. The parents work 8 hours a day. Let’s say they have a simple commute of 15 minutes. let’s assume a daycare situation. You take the kids to daycare. Take 5-15 minutes for the dropoff. Then go to work (15 minutes), work. Plus 30 minute lunch. then go to pick up the kids. That’s 9 hours right there.

Now, increase that commute to something more reasonable, 20-30 minutes, and you are away for about 9.5 hours. Okay, now what if you work a longer day? Say a 9 hour day, now you are away 10.5 hours a day from your kids.

How about the school situation? Some kids go to school early. Next year, the bus comes at 8:10am. We will be home close to 6. That’s 10 hours, just because I can’t control the time when school starts or ends.

This whole thing started me thinking about having children in general. We wanted children. Some was the basic programming gut instinct stuff, but some was for the experience. Jay wanted to life experience of raising children. Of helping a new person grow and learn. A bit egotistical, yes. Part of that human thing. As our children grow, we spend less and less time with them. We can still visit and talk, but there will be a point when the kids are out of the house. They are already their own people.

I can already see them learning, experiencing life in their own ways. School is yet another thing that will separate us, but I hope bring us together. Obviously, Jay and I have our own ideas on schools and helping our children in school, but I do hope to share our love of learning with them. Even when we aren’t there.

I guess this whole thing has me thinking about how we learn to work with our children in the context of a family. Even lovers aren’t together 24/7. Should we expect to be with our children that way?

Just a bit outside!* February 13, 2007

Posted by spacemom in : Life...otherwise , 5 comments

You know, just when you think it is safe to go into the water…

I am almost recovered from the stomach bug I got on Thursday. However, Jay just picked it up. He came home from work last night and nearly collapsed. Sent him to bed. Okay, that’s not bad….

when brushing my teeth last night I was pondering something deep and profound (and not my belly button). And then I stopped the tooth brush and kept thinking. Then I heard it. Drip. Drip. Drip.
Ok, that threw me. I looked around. No faucets dripping. Check the shower. Nope. Drip.Drip.Drip.
Hmm, got down on the floor. Louder here. Then I notice that 2 sections of the grout are slightly wet. Very slight. Drip.drip.drip.

I go back into the bedroom. I explain what I think and what I hear. I think we have a broken pipe, Behind the wall.

I decide to go get some chalk to mark the floor. While I am downstairs I figure, what the hell, go check the garage. I went to the spot directly under the drip. Oh hell. The floor is very wet. Very very wet. The ceiling is leaking.

I walk back up, staying calm, grab the phone book. Explain this to Jay, call the plumbers and leave a message. Jay struggles out of bed and checks the garage ceiling. We turn off the water main to the house for the night.

The plumbers should be here between 9-11 this morning. I am glad we caught this. I would hate to have it break while we were at work or something….

UPDATE: sob… my beautiful wall in the bath is being cut as I type…Sigh….

UPDATE 2: Sigh.. the PVC connector cracked. Good news, on the DRAIN, not the supply (no danger of a burst pipe) Bad news, still have to fix this…

* The title is from Major League…the pitcher, Wild Thing, can’t throw well until he gets glasses. His original pitches are what we feel like right now!