A little bit of freedom… June 26, 2007
Posted by spacemom in : Kids, Parenting 101 , trackbackIt’s been a crazy week in the space house! I am exhausted and overwelmed. My hopes for relaxing in the future are not really around…
If you are the type that cares to put out a good thought, please think of Lauren. She’s back in for her second of 5 chemo rounds. The last one left her needing a few pints of Cleveland’s finest (blood transfusion to get the platelets back up).
Alos, please keep a good thought out for WhyMommy. She recently found a lump in her breast after asking her doc about issues with her breast.
Yesterday, I got the kids out to a playground. They couldn’t agree on which one, so I chose a third. They dealt. The problem is that this particular neighborhood is, well, um, How do you say wealthy and contains some snobby people without over generalizing?
Yes, we were in THAT town. The one where mothers ran the second MY children cried for help. Now, I think after 5 years (or close to 5 years) I know when Soleil needs help and when she wants help. Two different things. I will walk over and talk to her if it is the latter, and RUN if it is the former. In this case, it was the latter. As I stroll over, another mom runs and starts talking, in baby talk, about how "da poor little girl need some help?" I roll my eyes and call "What’s up, babe?" She says "I want to turn around", "ok, so turn around!" "But I want to stay on these ropes!" So I talk her through what to do, not touching her except to correct her left and right (but I thought you meant YOUR right, mommy). Once I was done, I started to walk away and the other mom said "She was begging for help! She really was calling for somebody to help her." I just smiled and kept walking.
A similar thing happened when the girls decided to try the balance beam. A different mom gave me grief for not hold Soleil’s and Luna’s hands, but instead I put my arm out to spot them. I told both of them to jump down if they got scared or started to lose their balance.
What is it with overprotective parents? Here we are, in a PLAYGROUND, incredibly safe for the standards that I had growing up (Remember the monkey bar houses over concrete? yeah, so do I) and I am supposed to hover? No, I won’t do that. I am trying to let them be. A little freedom can go a long way to helping esteem, confidence and general comfort levels.
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See, I would be one of those over protective moms……spotting Grace with every move. Why? I don’t know…maybe b/c I fell off one of those monkey bars over concrete when I was in kindergarten and broke me arm.
However, I would NEVER parent another parents child. Never. That is rude.
Prayers go out to Lauren…..
Nance - good for you!! There is one rule in my family when Mom comes running - if you see blood otherwise, you try to work it out. I guess we all have “that neighborhood” because we have one here in CA and I avoid it as if there is a plague there. I can’t handle these Moms.
A lot of prayers is said for Lauren…. please keep us posted on her condition.
Helicopter Moms. Ugh. Though I do hover in the pool because my kid, she’s crazy. She doesn’t realize she can’t swim. Good thoughts going out to Lauren.
I always try to figure out how much I want to hover and how much I want to let them go. I question my judgment on what’s safe for them (and K2 sometimes has different perceptions on that than I do). But the last thing I would want is to be overprotective…
I do help other people’s children when they are in obvious danger (toddler on platform about six feet above the ground, stumbling backwards toward the edge - yeah, I stopped him from going down) or when they ask for help and I’m there - but I wouldn’t dream of trying to tell the mother what to do (ok - maybe I would in a real danger situation… with the toddler I just mentioned, the mom came running but might not have been there in time… so I didn’t say anything - had she been looking and smoking without caring, I might have dropped a choice comment or three…)
Ugh, helicopter parents. Yick! It’s one thing to help a child in obvious danger, but to rush in and parent someone else’s child when their own mother is so obviously (and capably!) dealing with it. That’s just not on.
Lauren will be in my thoughts.
PS Figlet, you are so not alone. I swear my 3.5 year old would try and swim to Cyprus (we’re in Israel) if we’d just give her the opportunity. Kid is half-fish. No fear, and no concept that it’s just the water wings that are keeping her afloat!
Thanks, SpaceMom! Your good wishes mean so much to me!