Quiet day

Sorry no real posts today. I did some web design at work and then went home early and took a 2 hour nap. I am lucky. The building we work in was built in the 1930s. You know, when women were "weak" once a month. So all of the women’s rooms have beds in them (I kid you NOT). I am planning on taking in a pillow tomorrow. I’ll take 1 hour naps at work during the day to help with the sleep. I spoke to my bosses and they both suggest using my sick time to get better. I agree.

In addition to the mono, I have anemia caused by the mono. My liver enzymes are off as well, a slight case of hepatitis. Apparently, 90% of mono sufferers develop hepatitis while the mono runs its course.

I am angry and frustrated.

Then we receive news that Lauren is having some bone marrow trouble. She is getting a few pints of Cleveland’s finest in a transfusion this week. I feel stupid for being upset that I am sick when Lauren is fighting cancer. She’s got one more chemo round left. She might have to miss the fall semester of her sophomore year. This bites. 

Lastly, Jay started the methatrexate yesterday. Turns out it is an intramuscular injection. Ick… 

How Green is Thy Grass?

In our never ending quest to find more time for US, the space family, Jay and I have been discussing hiring a lawn care company. Our lawn is about 1/2 an acre. We have another 1/2 in the woods. It takes me 2 hours to do the lawn and Jay 80 minutes. We live near the bottom of the hill, so our lawn is lush and thick and grows well with the runoff water.

I am all for a lawn care company, if it is the right one. I want an environmentally conscious one. One that will use natural fertilizers to help us maintain the lawn. One that tunes their equipment regularly to lower the emissions. One that one turn my wallet inside out.

 How do I find such a lawn care company? Any thoughts?

A Crohn’s update

Tuesday was busy. Jay also saw his doctor. We (the doctor, Jay and I) are not happy with the way the remicaid is working. So we are taking the next step. Methotrexate, aka the scary shit. The dose is high enough that he needs to inject it. He needs to take an injection class (although given the number of sub-q shots I gave myself to conceive Soleil, I think I could teach him).

We now need to be extra careful about conception. It must not be allowed to happen. Too dangerous for the baby.

 I hope this works. I really really really hate to see him in so much pain. And now to move up to a drug that is used in chemotherapy (his dose is higher than normal, lower than chemo)

This is scary shit, my friends. Scary shit

I turned 5 and all I got was a bruise from the doctor

On Tuesday, Soleil had her 5 year appointment. I needed the paperwork for school and I wanted to get it done as soon after her 5th birthday as possible. When we got in, the nurse gave me paper work on three shots. I was surprised because I knew we were getting the chicken pox one, but that wasn’t in the paperwork. She said "Oh, well, let me get that"

Turns out, no, we did the OTHER shots last year and this year was the chicken pox shot. She did pretty well with the shot, and was a little teary, but I have seen her worse. (And NO, I am not going to get into a debate on shots. I don’t do the flu shot for the girls because of the thermisol, but I don’t quite buy the thermisol/autism connection and the girls’ grandfather had polio, their father had pertussis and both of those left some serious life long issues…)

Then came the CBC/Pb test. (CBC=complete blood count). The idiot phleb kept telling Soleil that it wouldn’t hurt. WTF? I am sorry, but getting a needle shoved in the crook of your arm HURTS. Not a ton, but it does hurt. So I told her that it hurts a little, less than the shot. The phleb kept saying "Oh it won’t hurt" Well, even while holding her arm straight, Soleil pulled away when the needle went in. She was crying for 10 minutes in the car. She now has a bruise about 1 inch long on her arm. We did explain that it was from pulling away, but come on, what person would lie to a kid about pain. That’s a great way to earn trust!

 She’s now 50% in height (as she has been since birth) and about 40% in weight. No worries. I also got the name of an allergist for her. I want her checked out for the fish allergy that she and I have. Right now, Jay treats his lox like a biohazard. He shouldn’t have to…



A weekend recap

We had one heck of a busy weekend. It kept me far from t he computer and either holding walls or holding court with pirates!

Last week, I finally went to the doctor for a sore throat and swollen glands. I was tested for strep (neg) and given amoxicillian. Normally, it does not affect me, but this time, I have been suffering backaches, migraines, dizziness, nausea, etc. I missed the med on Sunday morning. By Sunday afternoon, I was feeling great! except my throat was hurting, badly. I must be reacting to the amox. I called today for some hope of relief.

We had FIL for the weekend. We love him, but I swear, he never raised young children. MIL must have done it all. He was okay watching them and even let us get a night out. But when the kids were rude (ie, failed to say please or thank you to us), he would lose it. Now I am fully aware that the kids are incredibly polite…to other people. I have seen it at daycare and in public. But to us, Snork! No way in hell! That’s okay. We keep working on it and they are growing up. But they still are 3 and 5. I can’t expect a please every time (okay I can expect, but let’s be realistic. Do you ask your spouse please EVERY time?) but I can explain when I am upset. He just kept going off the handle. Sigh.

Saturday involved a great deal of small trips, getting things ready for our Pirate Birthday party for Soleil. Then on Saturday night, we went out for the Harry Potter movie. In between, the book came and I started reading (I am a fast reader, so I always read the books first and let Jay go second). After the movie, we called home.

No answer. We tried again. No answer. So we drove home (we live 7 minutes from the theatre) and it turned out that Luna woke up and fell asleep on Grandpa in her room and he fell asleep in the chair holding her. It was very cute and he woke up and we put her back in bed. Then we went back out for desert.

I finished "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" at 5:15am. Stopping twice for the girls…

Sunday I could barely stand from dizziness. I skipped the amox because of it. We got everything ready in time for our little pirates to come. We had 4 games set up, but one was dropped. We had every kid make a label for their goody bag and explained that pirates have to earn their booty. Then we did games. Walk the plank over one of our swimming pools while wearing an eye patch (they kept the eye patch and the candy for crossing). Then knock down the ship with cannonballs. That proved harder than we thought, so all of the kids tried and tried and finally we got one girl to knock it down. They all got more candy for that. We had a "draw the X on the map" (like pin the tail on the donkey), but the heat was getting to the kids, so we went in. They all picked candy to eat while waiting for pizza. After pizza, we announced that FIL had found a treasure map and needed help. All of the kids followed him and found the clues that lead to U, then V, the W and finally X which had the pinata hiding under it. Each stop had a prize, a flag, a bandanna, chocolate coins… and the we did the pinata and finally cake and ice cream cake. (my famous sandcastle cake!)

 This party required the most planning, but it also only cost $100 (including cakes and pizza). Not bad. Then the girls and I went blueberry picking and we had pancakes and blueberry sauce for dinner! YUM!

This was a great weekend and we finished up with an ice cream party yesterday at work. Soleil was born on the 3rd anniversary of the launch of our telescope. We have an ice cream party every year for the launch date and Soleil was excited to announce that it was HER BIRTHDAY! It was very very funny.





Happy Birthday!

(Photos to be added later)

Five years ago, the roller coaster of infertility ended with your healthy, if not long, delivery. You hated this cold world and cried bitterly. You hated eating, sleeping and just about anything including touch. You would stop and stare at Daddy’s eyebrows. Heck, some caterpillars wish to mate with those eyebrows…

But slowly slowly, you learned to love and trust those who took care of you.

 You still don’t like to eat, and touch is questionable, it is always on your terms.

But you are now 5. And we love you. We always have.

Happy Birthday love!

Which fight to fight?

I have been reading and listening. There are 2 arguments going on right now that I am interested in. The two issues are hand-in-hand.

The first, I saw up on "Uterine Wars". Sopher comments about her neighbor’s child, left unsupervised outside. 

The second, is a lack of children being outdoors. 

On the first issue, I am guilty. Sometime over the winter, I took a nap and Jay let Soleil play outside. Alone. I flipped. He and I discussed the concerns I had. Fear of an accident…fear of a kidnapping…fear of an injury… To be honest, he was able to convince me that all of these were low risks. The bigger risks were her not following ground rules. We set some (stay in the yard, play on the driveway, but not past the line we draw with chalk, no going in the street) and she followed them.

The next step was to let her go out for longer periods of time. Finally we allowed her sister to go out as well. Luna is NOT allowed outside without someone else. When they are outside, I listen, I check every few minutes, I go to the bathroom ALONE.

 If it were up to me, the kids would play outside all day! And on Mondays, they often do!

The second issue is caused by many factors. First, the video game. Ah yes, I remember pong. Do you? The lovely game from Atari. Glip…Glip… My favorite. And don’t forget the Internet.. and the rise of computers. But the real factor is parental fear. We can’t let a child out to explore because they might get kidnapped. We can’t let them  bike out of our sight. We can’t blah blah blah.

So we over schedule our kids in programs they don’t need and keep them indoors and never let them just be kids.

Then there is the shock that kids are not outside more.

As parents, we need to do some real risk assessment. What are the dangers in our yards? What are the dangers of letting our kids out? What do our kids NEED to know?

We have spoken to both girls. Luna is still too young to do too much in the yard alone. Soleil can. They can both play outside together. They know the general rules, don’t go in the street, don’t go in the woods, don’t go with a stranger or someone mom hasn’t approved (there’s about 7 people they know they can go with).

When Jay was 5, he walked to Kindergarten. Alone. For 3/4 of a mile. I wasn’t allowed because I would have walked along Route 20 where there were no sidewalks (School policy). Crazy H walked 1/2 mile to school. Alone.

But if you mention allowing your 5 year old today to go down the street alone? You are a bad parent.

But are you? To let them explore their freedom in a slow controlled manner?

 Food for thought.


You never forget

I’ve had a sinus infection for a few weeks now. Since I prefer to let viruses (virii?) run their course, I let it go, but this weekend it got rough. So today I went to to the doctor where we decided I am "somewhat itisy" and gave my amoxicillan.

The weird part is when I got my temp taken. I explained that I fevered over the weekend and the nurse said "but your temp is low at 97.4"  I almost said "Duh, that’s because I am ovulating today and my temp won’t go up for another day. Check it on Thursday and it will be 98.2"

Yes, My baby is 3 years old and I still can tell you

a) my pre-ovulation temp

b) my post-ovulation temp

c) my ovulation day and sometimes the time

Once you traverse the roller coaster of infertility, you never forget. Some people who are still on the ride don’t realize that. There is the thought (and I was there too, so don’t think I am talking about YOU) that "You have a kid! How could you possibly understand!"

But I do. I was there. I am forever in touch with my sucky reproductive self.
I know far more about reproduction than I ever cared to.


And I have not forgotten the pain of finding that another cycle failed. Or the pain of seeing a babe in a mom’s arms. Or a smiling pregnant woman.