A warm body September 8, 2007
Posted by spacemom in : Depression, I dream of sleep , trackbackBefore I start this post, I want to point out that I am in a pretty bad place right now. The funk that started before Cleveland has settled in for the long run. This is tough and I am not a happy camper at all right now. But that’s for another day.
Most mornings, I wake with a small body curled next to me. Often it is two small bodies.
Soleil will wake up around 7am to climb into bed with us. Sometimes, she had nightmares and will come in without me noticing her there. I will turn over at night and feel the gentle breath on my skin and wake up to see her perfect face there. Luna comes in almost every morning at 5:30-6. I think the birds wake her. She comes to my side of the bed since Daddy puts her back in her bed. I am too lazy to get up and do that. I hold out an arm for her to use to help her climb into our bed. Then she curls against me, back to back and sleeps.
I wake to the sound of multiple breathing patterns. Luna is loud. She snores and I often wonder if she has some problem with her throat. Soleil is quiet. Their breath is no longer the swell smell of baby breath, but I still enjoy it.
Once, we would be awoken multiple times a night by a screaming child. Four consecutive hours of sleep was a luxury. Now we have traded the wake ups for night time visitors.
And to be honest, those are two warm bodies I do not mind at all.
Comments»
I’m so sorry you’re in a bad place right now. It’s so hard and I know nothing I can say will help. So just sending good thoughts and letting you know I care.
Beautiful post, by the way, brought a warm smile to my heart.
N, sending good thoughts your way too.
I’m amazed that they don’t wake you up when they come in. Itai always does. He comes in, climbs all over us, starts stealing covers… Before you know it all three of us are awake. Thankfully he doesn’t do it every night though.
I’m sorry the darkness has deepened. I hope that that means it is just before the dawn and that things will be better soon.
What a beautiful post despite your being in such a dark place. We have 2 extra warm snuggly bodies most nights (or early mornings) in our bed too, and although I complain from time to time, I really wouldnt change it
Hugs
while I too am sorry about the dark place, I can totally relate re: the warm bodies.
Coop has had sleep troubles since the move, and often has come in mid-night or early morning to sleep on our floor or scoot into our bed. Bones wakes early (6-ish) and I bring him back into our bed to nurse him, and the cozyness of me and my little ones makes me savor the minutes, knowing soon enough they will pass.
If only I could bottle the essence of “child’s breath on my back” or “smell of night-sweat hair beneath my nose”….