To the once and future Spacemom:

Dear Nance:

When you are less stressed and feel you can handle this, please take the time to sip a Starbucks grande skim half pump mocha and read this. 

  • Kids can bounce back from almost anything, including burning their buttocks on a fireplace.
  • Night terrors suck, but they are both normal and not harmful. Luna does not remember them. And they go away in time.
  • There was a time that your children climbed into bed and snuggled and fell right asleep. They’re probably teenagers right now and the thought of a good snuggle might be gone.
  • Remember that Soleil hides her true feelings. A hug and a simple "I’m sorry you are so upset" works better than pushing and probing.
  • You will never know everything that happens in school.
  • Life is the journey. Kids are just making the ride a little more interesting. Embrace it when you are frustrated.
  • Yelling once in a while is not going to break them, but be sure to apologize when you are done.
  • They have to make their own mistakes. You can’t prevent them from getting hurt. You can only be there to wipe the tears.
  • Try to keep the lines of communication open. When Soleil repeats "How many times do I have to tell you?" laugh and tell her that you must be saying that too much.
  • Laugh at things more than cry
  • It’s okay to make jokes about the word "butt" at the dinner table.
  • The 3.5 year old phase will pass. One day, Luna won’t be vying for your attention. Probably sooner than later.
  • Remember that you are not the first parent to go through all of this. But you are the first parent to have these two girls to guide.
  • And it is guiding, not controlling.
  • And that coffee sounds good. I think I’ll go get some.

Love, Nance