Dear Nance:

When you are less stressed and feel you can handle this, please take the time to sip a Starbucks grande skim half pump mocha and read this. 

• Kids can bounce back from almost anything, including burning their buttocks on a fireplace.
• Night terrors suck, but they are both normal and not harmful. Luna does not remember them. And they go away in time.
• There was a time that your children climbed into bed and snuggled and fell right asleep. They’re probably teenagers right now and the thought of a good snuggle might be gone.
• Remember that Soleil hides her true feelings. A hug and a simple "I’m sorry you are so upset" works better than pushing and probing.
• You will never know everything that happens in school.
• Life is the journey. Kids are just making the ride a little more interesting. Embrace it when you are frustrated.
• Yelling once in a while is not going to break them, but be sure to apologize when you are done.
• They have to make their own mistakes. You can’t prevent them from getting hurt. You can only be there to wipe the tears.
• Try to keep the lines of communication open. When Soleil repeats "How many times do I have to tell you?" laugh and tell her that you must be saying that too much.
• Laugh at things more than cry
• It’s okay to make jokes about the word "butt" at the dinner table.
• The 3.5 year old phase will pass. One day, Luna won’t be vying for your attention. Probably sooner than later.
• Remember that you are not the first parent to go through all of this. But you are the first parent to have these two girls to guide.
• And it is guiding, not controlling.
• And that coffee sounds good. I think I’ll go get some.

Love, Nance