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A little bit of Terror in my life March 20, 2008

Posted by spacemom in : Depression, Religion, Parenting 101 , 2 comments

Do you remember Mambo Number 5?

A little bit of Monica in my life
A little bit of Erica by my side
A little bit of Rita’s all I need
A little bit of Tina’s what I see
A little bit of Sandra in the sun
A little bit of Mary all night long
A little bit of Jessica here I am
A little bit of you makes me your man

Ah, how I love that song. And today, I sing the title of this post to that refrain.

You see, today is Purim. My girls are dressing up for the celebration. We are even picking up Soleil’s best friend R (who has a half-day of school) to come join us! We have costumes! We have money for tickets to play games and food. We have Graggers. So where’s the terror?

I can’t stand places where I am cramped in and surrounded by people. It starts simply enough. I may be at the mall in December. The first indication is a little bit of color overload. I start to classify every color I see. Then I start to organize the noises and conversations I am hearing. I don’t hear white noise or chatter, my brain actually starts to interpret all of the signals I am getting. In a very crowded place, like the temple will be tomorrow, I am going to get bumped and brushed past. This starts to trigger anxiety.

I know all of this is going to happen. I hope I can step back and watch from a distance. I hope I can step out and let my brain relax a little tomorrow. Or else, I will have the anxiety and terror of too much going on!

Sigh…

A woman’s place is in the Dome March 19, 2008

Posted by spacemom in : She Blinded me with Science , add a comment

I am an astronomer ish type person (I still don’t know my official job title). I have observed at Kitt Peak, Cerro Tololo and the Whipple Observatories. I have spent nights in the warm room, days sleeping and having my dorm door attacked by a coatimundi. So I guess I count as an astronomer. I do have a BS and a MS in astronomy/planetary science. 

But I went into programming for several years. I even had my resume on Monster dot com for a while because I was unhappy with my position (Long story, needs a password if I go into it). But now I am back in science. I don’t have time for research because I work part time (4 days a week,32 hours), but I get to go to meetings and such…

I have been very lucky. Most of my experiences in the workplace are positive. The only gender issues I have had are with women (weird, eh?). Again, I would need to password protect things, but in short, I was once told I got my job because I was sleeping with Dr. Jay. Um, No. I was actually called in by another group, but I already had been hired. I was told that I wasn’t working as hard after the birth of Soleil. Um, yeah, it’s called parenting an infant. Somehow, the fact that I was working long hours before she was born didn’t count. Just the fact that I was suddenly needing time to be with my family. I have never had to experience what Susan at Toddler Planet had to experience.  In fact, while in college, the only indignity I had was the adviser who told me that because I had an A- in my first 3 physics courses, I must not be challenged enough. I dumped him and got a better adviser. One who understood how much I was fighting for physics.

I had very little trouble in undergrad. I worked hard, I was respected by the astronomy profs, and I held my own in the physics classes. I was no Victor ( the guy in my class who could do vector calculus with one hand tied behind his back), but I aced my thermal dynamics final and I passed quantum mechanics. I handled senior physics lab with only one broken condom (we were doing an experiment that involved a vacuum pump and the thin rubber diaphragm broke easily so we had to have condoms as backups. We broke it once and needed a backup condom…it was pretty funny at the time). I was with the group of guys who froze a pumpkin with liquid nitrogen and tossed it off the physics building to watch it shatter! (it smooshed instead. We waited too long sending someone downstairs to make sure we wouldn’t kill anyone). I was basically one of the guys.

Graduate school was a little different. I applied to several places and was accepted into 2. I decided to stay where I was (Stony Brook, SUNY- WOOT!) because Jay was there. Was this a negative? I decided to give up a PhD to stay with Jay. I knew this at the time. We had several women and men in the grad department. I heard some negative things about the professors from some women, but I didn’t see what they did. I found that the staff treated men and women the same.

Now that I am in one of the largest employers of astronomers in the US, I see the subtle signs of discrimination. Women have smaller offices in general. The salaries for women are slightly smaller. Fewer women are at the top.Those women at the top fight for other women. Just this year, we finally got a designated lactation room for nursing moms.

I am both saddened and thrilled to see that Susan has started a new blog:Women in Planetary Science . I am sad that we need such a blog to deal with basic issues such as bringing children to meetings, lactation rooms, and childcare. The American Astronomical Society has been wonderful at allowing children to come and trying to arrange childcare co-ops between the parents who request it. Unfortunately, the planetary science branch has always been male dominated and with more women of childbearing age coming into the field, this had come to a head. Thank you Susan, for working on this and organizing this. Thank you to all of the women in planetary science who are working at this. If you are a scientist, male or female, please stop over this new blog and offer some support to these parents and women.

Playtime March 18, 2008

Posted by spacemom in : Life...otherwise , 5 comments

It’s been a long three weeks. In this time, Jay and I discussed and bought The Mountaineer from Backyard Adventures. We didn’t buy the swing set that extends off the end, just the base fort with the slide, the rope ladder, rock wall and tire swing. I added a single swing to the side opposite the slide. We’ll get it delivered in May.

Why? Why spend a gob of money (man, these things are pricey) on a backyard set when we could go to the playground? It was a tough call. I want to be greener. I want to use public resources, BUT… I also want to get things done around the house. The girls love to play and climb and I know they will love this play set. We spent about 1 hour at the store and I watched how the loved to play on everything. I can watch from the back windows and maybe even sit on the deck and watch them play.

I feel better knowing that the wood is farmed, not wild wood. Silly, I know. I should be concerned about using too much wood to begin with, but if I go with wood, I would rather know it was farmed, which means it is replaced.

I do wonder how long it will take the girls to figure out how to climb on the roof of this toy?

:) 

 

I think I am back… March 17, 2008

Posted by spacemom in : Current Affairs, She Blinded me with Science, Ghost in the (sewing)Machine , 1 comment so far

Man, it’s been a long two/three weeks. I have been fighting fires at work and in my personal life. It’s been crazy. My experience last week is just a sampler!

I’m on call this week, and it does seem like we are looking at another crazy week. There’s a celestial object that is in X-ray outburst and may be observed this week with our telescope. We’re waiting to see if the scientists are going to trigger their TOO (target-of-opportunity) and if they do, the week is shot to hell. Oh well.

I got time this weekend to finish Luna’s dress. I want her to wear it for Purim. It’s a princess dress for a costume, but it should hold up better than most costumes. It came out really well. I hope to post some pictures of it after Purim. Now Soleil wants HERS done (I started making two of them) and I had to run out tonight to get the fabric for the skirt. I under estimated the amount of fabric I would need because the pattern specifies the fabric for the dress AND a cape. Screw the cape. As Edna says in "The Incredibles", NO CAPES!

Still trying to find a sitter for April 5th. The Sabres are in town and the next day is my birthday, so I would love to go to the game. The trick is getting a sitter! :)

We bought a play set for the kids this weekend. It will be installed in May. This will bring on another post about how horrible I am as a parent… :)

Okay, gotta run, but I think I am back in the blogging spirit!

 

If you ever.. March 16, 2008

Posted by spacemom in : Current Affairs , 4 comments

If you ever get the urge to have a Girl Scout meeting at your house on a Friday and follow it with a pizza and movie night, can I just suggest, DON’T!

OMG, for 2 hours we had 9 little crazy kids screaming, running, coloring, making rice krispie treats and discussing how we are "responsible for what we say and do" and then 1.5 hours of comatose kids, staring at the the TV watching "Snow Buddies".

All in all, it went well. What possessed me to agree to do this at my house? I have no clue!!!

In-laws are visiting, spacecraft is doing well. Should get back to normal posting on Tuesday!

 

Today is only slightly better March 13, 2008

Posted by spacemom in : Current Affairs, Ghost in the (sewing)Machine , 2 comments

(I typed all of this in for a private web group, but I figure I could edit names and put it here too!)

 
Jay arrived home Friday morning! YEA! We had lunch and got the girls
early. Then we went to temple for Tot Shabbot. The girls really wanted
to go. Saturday, we had a Girl Scout Shabot at an orthodox temple. Then
Skating. Then on Sunday (with the time change) we had Girl Scout Sunday
(Soleil really wanted to go!) then an ice skating fund raiser, then our
Girl Scout meeting plus her winter ceremony.
Oy!

Monday- I was planning on a nice quiet day. We did gymnastics, then
lunch, we went to Backyard Adventures to look for a playset. At 3, I
got a call from my Friend Kobyashi. 

Crazy H was in the ER getting an IV and
chest x-ray from this flu. Could we take their kids? Of course I said
yes. Then I realized that I had swimming at 5. I couldn’t take 4 girls
in my car unless I put Soleil  in the front.

So I went to our neighbor
and she was able to babysit! She came over for the hour while we went
swimming. Her mom came over for the beginning to make sure Erik’s kids
were okay with a totally new person.
We had a meltdown at swimming because Luna had the wrong panties. Sigh. I had her go commando instead of forcing panties on.("NO! I WANT THE ARIEL PANTIES" "honey, those are dirty and stinky and at home" "GO HOME AND GET THEM!")
Then I get home before 6 and find K and Crazy H at our house, they paid the babysitter and I made the kids mac&cheese because their kids needed to eat
before going home.
Then Jay picked up our babysitter (yes, we were going out that night our first night out since DECEMBER!) and she came while everyone was there.
Sigh.
The Crazy H family left, then we left. We had a nice dinner and got home.

Tuesday-
Jury Duty in Cambridge. I had to leave the house at 7 am to get there
in time. No internet. Got let go at 2, went to the Backyard Adventures
to setup another congfiguration. Sigh. Took a nap, had a girl scout
adult meeting at night. Got sucked in to do the Volunteer Awards Ceremony in May.

Wednesday-
Discovered a 1/4 inch bulge on the sidewall of my tire. Called the tire
place in town, gave them the size and the guy there  got 2
tires for me so they could replace it in the afternoon. Had teacher/parent meeting with Soleil’s teacher. Dropped
off Jay so he could go back to work (telescope proposals are due next Thursday). Got tire replaced, bulge was now
1 inch! The steel belt had broken and was starting to break through the
wall! EEEK! (damn pot holes)

Then had a playdate for Soleil and talked with the mom whom I had met before and always found talking to her ackward. Then she explained she had been in an accident as a teen
and had a brain injury, so she was sorry that she kept repeating
herself. The conversation kept jumping from 1 topic to another then
back to the first because she kept forgetting that we moved off of it.
It was really odd.

Thursday-Today.I am working late tonight. Jay’s home. After Soleil’s
temple school, he’s getting Luna, picking up his parents from the
airport and we’re all meeting at Friendly’s in town

Tomorrow- Girl Scout meeting at my house! Then movie night for the girls at my house! 10 5 & 6 year old girls at my house from 3:30-7! Yea me!
Oh, and we were asked by Temple to take our turn for the coffee hour
(oneg) after services tomorrow night. Jay and his dad are going.

And I need to finish sewing a dress for Luna for Purim. Sigh…

For work?

Figured out the Spacecracft anomaly. Looking at ways to detect when this electronic board resets by checking the voltage which depends on the observation. Got a BIG assignment today from Mission Planning. Need Tequila. If you see Jose? send him my way! 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA March 12, 2008

Posted by spacemom in : She Blinded me with Science , 2 comments

To do:

Jury Duty

Find bulge in tire

Spacecraft anomaly

review new mission guidelines

Fix tire

Parent teacher conference

Write to blog

 

 

Sorry- no time!
 

Non-Fiction Friday March 7, 2008

Posted by spacemom in : Fiction Friday , 5 comments

I have been reading some poetry on the web lately. It’s beautiful.

I haven’t done Fiction Friday in a month or so. I’ve been too tired in my soul to come up with Fiction. And I’ve been rather hard on myself lately. I have always wanted to write a book. But I never can find the proper topic. Or come up with a reasonable plot that will interest anyone else. I had thought of writing on a woman with depression, but then a friend of mine started writing her  memoir and goodness, now I feel like I am plagiarizing.

So, I go back to the blank page on the screen.

Soleil came home a few weeks ago with a story map. I loved it. She wrote down who were the main characters, what the "problem" was, the solution, the supporting characters, the setting. It was very nice. (yes, she’s in kindergarten. Want proof Kindergarten is the new first grade? She brought home a Venn diagram yesterday! A Fricken VENN diagram!in Kindergarten!) I really should consider looking into the community college in our town and learn more about how to write. I always figured people just sat down and wrote, but I know that isn’t true. The ideas come from the soul, but just like astronomy, where the love of the science comes from the soul, you need to learn the tools to do it.

So maybe, when Luna’s in school, maybe then I will take a class at the community college. Maybe….

Beacuse I do want to write. And more than just my personal ramblings
 

Days 5 & 6: the return of Daddy March 7, 2008

Posted by spacemom in : Parenting 101 , 2 comments

Yesterday was Day 5. It was a long day. We got out of the house in a timely fashion. I even got Luna to daycare early. Then I got in the office and got overwhelmed by the sheer amount of work to be done. Time to do a break down of tasks! :) Oh wait, I’ve done that recently!

 We had a team meeting at 11, so I got what I could get done in the morning, testing new code for the detector housing heater turn off and other fun things. The team meeting ran until 12:30, followed by a quick lunch at my desk and then it was time for temple school.

Normally, Jay works from home on Thursdays. This way, he picks Soleil up from school and drives her to temple school. Then he goes to the library and works some more (thank you for free wi-fi!).

I was not so lucky. I drove into work because I had to take Luna to her daycare anyway. Then I drove 11 miles back home to get Soleil from school. 5 miles to the Temple. I met with a friend. Then I drove 6 miles back to get Luna and met another friend for dinner and her daughter.

Whew!

I got a text on my phone this morning. Jay is back in the country. We spoke for a few minutes. He should be landing about..oh…now! (10:30EST) and he’ll be at the office in about 1 hour!

We survived!

Now we just have survive until March 20! The deadline for the Chandra proposals! Jay will be working hard on those! 

 

Day 4: Meet the Space Family March 6, 2008

Posted by spacemom in : Parenting 101 , 2 comments

Okay- The title works better with our real name there, but hey, Not going there!

We watched Meet the Robinsons tonight. Very nice. I enjoyed it, although the scene with the peanut allergy freaked Soleil as she has a friend with a peanut allergy.

Luna ran away the first part of the movie. I remember that Soleil went through this phase of being afraid of the movies. It will settle out. I know it will.

All in all, we had a great day/night yesterday. Jay switched his flights a day early. He’ll be home Friday morning instead of Saturday! Yippie!

This weekend is Girl Scout central. We have Girl Scout Shabbot on Saturday, Girl Scout Sunday on Sunday, and our meeting and ceremony for the winter on Sunday afternoon. But we will get it all done! I know it!