Money! It’s a crime April 30, 2008
Posted by spacemom in : Current Affairs, Kids , trackbackSo how do you keep your children from being spoiled? That’s a tough question. It’s one that I grapple with daily.
I have a friend (
You know who you are!) Who was kind enough to share her wealth with us in February. Her family had recently bought a new jet and her husband wanted to get more flying time in. She invited all of us who were visiting her to go on her jet from Kissimee to Key West. Now to me, this was generous. They paid for the fuel and the time of the second pilot. They allowed us to visit a place that most of us in the group would never had gone to (I personally LOVED Key West and I would love to go there again! and again). On the way back to Kissimee, we had the discussion of how to keep it real for kids.
Now my friend, yes, she has money. But she hasn’t ALWAYS had money. Her husband owns at least 2 businesses. One here, one in Europe. Flying is a major part of his life, so turning the work into a hobby makes sense. But they also have two children. They travel to Europe often. The kids sometimes go with the parents, sometimes not. Sometimes the nanny comes. The kids have learned what their normal is. Their normal is that Daddy gets the plane ready and they fly off when they need to travel long distances. My Friend is concerned about how to keep life real for them.
To be honest, Jay and I wonder about that too. Not for her children, but ours. So far, the girls have gone to Florida, Maryland, Ohio, New York, Hawaii, Washington, Oregon, North Carolina, Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Connecticut, Rhode Island and Pennsylvania (and Tennessee for Luna). Except for the New England states, this is a LOT of travel. Luna’s not even 4 yet. And Hawaii? They’ve been there TWICE in their lives. Most of this is work or family travel. Our family is all over the place. Work takes us several places. But still I got asked last week "Mommy, why are we driving to Maryland? Can’t we just take a plane?" I explained the cost of things, the cost of airfare, etc. It did make me realize how my girls are accustomed to a certain life style.
To offset what they see in terms of travel, I noticed that we started to make other changes. When they put some of their allowance in the Tzdakah bank, Jay and I match the amount they put in. When I see someone at a traffic light asking for money, I will sometimes give it to them. I try to make sure we give to the food bank, in front of the girls. We talk about each of these events and why we do it.
We also talk to them about corporate greed. When we discuss something about smoking or the mortgage collapse in the country, the girls will often ask why? Why are people mean to other people? Unfortunately, the answer is almost always money. The smoking industry wants to money. The sub prime loans were an attempt to procure higher monthly payments. Money. Money. Money. The girls come to their own conclusion that this is not right. And we agree. We try over and over to explain how money is not the end all be all of life. It’s what you do that matters, not what you own.
I just hope that we can show by example and not have to make our children go through the stress of day to day money woes to not be spoiled and to appreciate what they have.
Comments»
You’ve got me writing on the same topic…I think I might be able to get over my issues though to have a private plane and not have to do the whole airport hassle!!lol I got on a plane for the very first time when I was 24. My 9 year old has been all over North America, to the Caribbean and to Asia…it’s a different life!
Yeah, my oldest daughter has been to Hawaii a few times and has been on more than one 15plus hour plane ride in her short six years on this Earth. I too get the “why don’t we just fly there” comment a lot, although to be honest going to a far off, interesting places don’t seem like spoiling to me. Are intention with both of our kids is to show them how truly blessed they are to be living in a middle class neighborhood in the US and that most people in the world don’t have the same opportunities that we do. Interesting post!
We teach our children that money is a wonderful reward people get for working hard, and going to work even on days when they feel like staying in bed. Money is what buys a beautiful home, nice clothes and toys, and things like plane rides and vacations.
We are also teaching them that money is something that can be used to help other people. Money means responsibility; money is a tool that is to be used wisely, respected, not wasted, and saved for times when you need it.
To me, it is not money that is evil, but people. Just as with anything else, it is not the tool, it is the people who own and wield it that make it what it is. I am thinking that these same people, even without money, would be ***holes. They just happen to be in a position where they can use their status and power to be “mean,” as you put it.