My very first book July 10, 2008
Posted by spacemom in : Life...otherwise, Parenting 101 , 5 commentsI’ve decided to write books. They will be parenting books. "What to expect from your psychotic hell-bent offspring" I think that’s a great title. The chapters will have cover such subjects as "Why are babies nocturnal?" "How to baby proof your house"(move and buy cheap furniture and NO rugs. Buy rugs when they stop vomiting over everything.) "The non-verbal child: how to say "use your words" without losing your mind" and so on. I think I am ready for the chapter on almost 6 year olds. Because I am living with one.
This chapter will be "Living with a pre-pre-pre teen, your 6 year old daughter".In it, I’ll discuss the typical behaviors of a six year old. This included eye-rolling, sighing, stamping one’s foot with a gusto while saying "I know" in a sing-song voice. Other behaviors include demands for privacy, the refusal of eating anything green or grown outside, the need to be hugged AND not be touched at the same time.
The current pop star of the day will be enshrined by your 6 year old daughter. She will insist she can do everything herself, even if it involves a ginzu knife, two tomatoes and an acrobat. She will whine that she can’t do it when she can’t and it is all your fault for making her try (see above on insistence to do everything). She will refuse to bathe under the logic that she is just going to get dirty again. Same with teeth brushing and hair.
And at bedtime, she will do everything she can to tell you that she is not tired. That it’s not fair. That she should stay up later than her sister even though that sister is snoring in the bed below.
And as she falls asleep…she will say quietly, "I love you, mom"
