I am tired. So tired. Fatigued might be the word, but exhausted filled me more.
Soleil has been catching the bus for Girl Scout camp this week. Early. 7:20-7:30 early. To get the girls ready and out the door is a battle. This has left me tired and exhausted. I haven’t worked out since Sunday. I am going to work out today.
I am so fucking tired of the cycle of depression. It has switched to be the days shortly after my period starts. So I am bleeding and depressed. Lovely. My self-confidence goes to hell, I suffer anxiety attacks, but without any cause. I just get the physical symptoms. Pathetic, I know.
Guys, this is kicking my butt. I hate this. I want to cry. Why did I have to be depressive? Seriously? Why me? Wa wa wa, all me, I know. There are worse things in the world. WhyMommy is beating cancer, Beagle has her son, Ted Kennedy is voting for health care and I am whining about being depressed.
I have two wonderful girls. Luna’s turned into a mommy monster. She loves me suddenly. She wants mommy all of the time. Soleil is jealous of the attention for mommy. She wants mommy to herself.
Jay is wonderful. He will rub my head at night when I just want to cry.
So why does everything suck?