Open letter to former owner of my house

To the former owner of my house:

Hi! How ya doing? Great, just great. Why don’t we grab a cup of coffee, shall we? Hey, remember when you decided to wallpaper that bedroom, the one in the corner? Yeah, that one. I have to say that the color choices of the paper always seemed, well, odd. A nice pink bottom with yellow top? I mean the flowers matched and all, but hey, what can I say, it’s not my style. My 6 year old agreed with me. We decided it was time to paint her room. First, I had to remove that wallpaper. I remember when we first moved here how proud the agent was to tell us that you had wallpapered every fricken room yourself. Thanks. I hate wallpaper. Anyway, I had to remove the paper first.

Surprise, surprise! The top? The color I always thought was yellow? Yeah, that turned out to be a light cream color. It must have been your chain smoking husband* that turned the walls yellow. Ick. How do I know this? because you used a good 4 INCHES of extra paper at the border of the two colors! Seriously, this was a royal pain in the butt to get this off the walls! And next time you prep walls for wallpapering? Do you think you could removed the glue from the PREVIOUS wallpaper job? Ugh. The wall against the bathroom had 2 layers of glue on it. My arm is killing me. How many poor horses became glue for that wall anyway?

Sigh. At least it is done. The yellow (ick ick ick) and pink room is now purple. Ah…. without the smoke stains. Much better!

 

Spacemom

 

* We know the husband was a chain smoker. He kept an oxygen tank downstairs and the agent told us everything about the family when we closed. And the fact that there was pristine wallpaper in the shape of a cross on our bedroom wall when we moved in. The yellowish paper in our room was quite…icky