Archeological Dig

I am going through my cabinets, cleaning out into boxes what we need to move. We are keeping some things available like the pans I need to make treats for a party this week, and the pots and pans we use everyday.

But the majority of this is going on a dig. I find things from years ago. Things like the garlic press that Jay and I took from the house he lived in all of graduate school. I only lived there one year. He lived there 6. It was finally being sold, so we moved to a cottage that I lived in 1 year before. We were the last two people there, so we took all of the kitchen stuff that had been left in the house along with any furniture left by former housemates that we could. We still have the coffee table down stairs that took a hit when the 40 gallon fish tank exploded on it 17 years ago. I refinished it 12 years ago. Still good

It is weird running through our history. I forget that Jay and I have been together so long (since 1992!).

Okay, break over, back to cleaning the kitchen!


BTW- for those concerned about my telescope- We are in a very stable orbit. We launched AFTER the ruling that all satellites must be launched in a decaying orbit to reenter and burn in the atmosphere, but we got grandfathered. We go 1/3 of the way to the moon and orbit the earth once every 63 hours. We cannot be serviced like Hubble, so our project was designed for many years. We are in year 10 of the mission and recently were (or are in the process) of being approved for 12. We have started work on studying the 20-25 year mission life. In theory, we can go 50 or more years, with proper planning. At some point, we will run out of consumables (the fuel for the thrusters, etc) but for now? We are going strong!

Kitchen update

So we picked out the tiles for the backsplash and the quartz countertop. Then we found out from our contractor that the corner cabinet was damaged in shipping. This cabinet has to go in first, so the project is delayed a week. He dropped off the wood for the floor, so it can acclimate to our environment

We bought the faucet and soap dispenser for the sink. We are looking at different lighting options.

I’ll be emptying the pantry this weekend to sort from throw out, keep and donate!



I am thankful for many things today:

For my wonderful life partner and husband and Best Friend Evah! Jay

For my kids, who drive me batty, bu I would never trade them for anything in the world

For my parents, who also drive me batty, but I love them

For my sister, she is a great friend

For a warm home and a great job

For the friends who keep me sane, and those who don’t

For health and comfort

Thank you all


Panic sets in (and a ray of sunshine)

So… I got an email yesterday.

"Dear Nance,

Your project came up in the morning meeting today and we’d like to start demolition Monday Dec1. Please let us know if this fits with your schedule. You still have a meeting on Wednesday with E to pick out counters and backsplash tiles.


Your kitchen guys"

OMG OMG OMG OMG! Monday? As in a week? As in My in-laws (who are stuck in Scranton PA with a surprise blizzard) are still going to be here Monday? As in I have NO BOXES to put our dishes in? And we haven’t ordered the faucet and soap dispenser yet? Nor the dishwasher?


 However, before this shocker, I got a call from my dad. Before Luna was growing, he had a scary falling and weaving episode that landed him in the hospital. At first, stroke was on everybody’s mind. The next day, he lost his hearing in his left ear. Just gone. All he hears is tinitus.  So, while he was learning how to walk again because they believe a virus got in his ear and damaged something to ruin both hearing and balance (no sign of stroke damage), he was getting pretty damn depressed. We told him about Luna at 6 weeks, something we weren’t planning on, to cheer him up.

Yesterday, he had a followup appointment with his audiologist. Last week, he tried a hearing aid and he could hear a whopping 2% in the bad ear. This week, the audiologist tried a new type, some kind of digital one with processing and dad could hear 80% of the words! 80% people! It’s expensive ($2400-for one ear), but they are going for it! How cool is that?

That’s IT! I’m on strike

(she says while she cleans the living room)


I am so frustrated. Here is how morning went:

Wake up, coughing, what a fricken surprise. Soleil is slow to get out of bed. Luna is wrapped up like a mummy. Discover that Jay forgot to put on a pullup at bedtime (he totally apologised for that and put the bedding in the wash) So guess who peed over night? Yeah.

Then I got out clothes for Soleil. Luna refuses to do anything. So I ask if she is getting dressed like a big girl or like a baby. She says baby. I start to talk to her like a baby and start to dress her. She gets pissed off, so I let her scream and go get my contacts in. Soleil gets dressed, but can’t zipper her pants. Jay tries to reason with Luna, fails. I get her dressed finally. Jay gets S ready for breakfast and then showers. (after making coffee, of course because I can’t make a cup of coffee without having coffee first, a terrible catch-22) I eat, they eat. I go get dressed. Soleil decides tormenting her sister is better than getting teeth brushed. Finally send her to brush. Then discover she needed to go. Find her with pants down staring at the toilet. "What’s up?" I ask.

"Nothing." She continues to stare at the void of defecation.

"um, did you wipe?"


"would you LIKE to wipe?"

"sure!" (hello? are you 6 or WHAT?)

Go off to get shoes for myself. Come back. She’s staring still. "Did you wipe?"

"um, no"

(mom briefly goes off the deep end. decides this is not worth it and shakes her head and hands her a wet wipe)

Then I find Luna playing with dolls.

We couldn’t find Soleil’s shoes. Luna refused to get on her jacket.

I am tired. That’s it. I am officially on morning strike. I swear, I am going to let Soleil MISS the bus Monday. Even though I have to drive her to school, I want her to miss the bus so she takes this getting ready concept SERIOUSLY.


Who needs two lungs anyway?

My saga of the viral infected lung continues. I hack away at work and home. Last night, I had a coughing fit in Soleil’s room and she told me "Don’t throw up on the floor like I did, mom! That’s gross!" Gee, thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.

Did I ever tell you guys that we are going ahead with the kitchen stuff? Oh yeah. We bought the microwave/venthood combo last week since it was on a major sale at Sears. We will need to order the dishwasher soon. Then we have the faucet and the lights to figure out. The rest? The guys will work out with us. Very exciting. We signed the deal on October 31st. The cabinets were ordered that day. The broom closet I wanted ended up being 6 inches wider than expected. We hemmed about it and decided to just expand the pantry instead of forcing an over large broom closet.

We need to select the quartz countertops and the tile backsplash soon. Once the cabinets are in, they will start the work! Wee! SO excited.

 Strangely, this is not worrying me in the slightest. We pulled the money we would need for this project out of the market when we signed things so the last few weeks of free fall have not affected the funds. I am just plain excited. I was afraid that I would worry and panic and everything else. But I am not!

 When we hear word of everything in place, I think we’ll start posting photos!


Down, but not out

Since Jay returned, I’ve been ill. As in slept all day Thursday ill. And stayed home Friday ill. And saw the doctor Tuesday ill. Turns out to be just something viral, so there isn’t a whole lot I can do.

However, we did have Soleil’s Parent Teacher meeting yesterday. Nothing was out of the ordinary. She is excelling in her academics, but she is still 6. This means she is still working on interpersonal relationships and not beating the crap out of J, a boy in her class that she has a mutual love-hate relationship with. Sigh. We spent a long time talking about her perfectionism, her self anger when something goes wrong and her inability to express her emotions to others. The teacher didn’t really see anything out of the ordinary for her, but we all agreed to continue working on giving her coping skills.

then last night, she got mad at me. She wouldn’t say it. I told her to say it. But she wouldn’t. It wasn’t until she calmed down that she said "Mom, I’m mad at you". And we talked about why that is so hard to say. She’s afraid that if she gets mad at me, I won’t love her, or maybe she won’t love me. I explained about unconditional love. She’s not too sure about that, but we need to teach her that anger is not bad, it’s how we react to it.

innocence part 2

Innocence. That classic word. The lack of knowledge is the definition used when we refer to children. They don’t know what the world is really like. So we hide them from it as long as possible.

This is not how Jay and I operate. I mean, we don’t go an explain everything in detail. Recently, Soleil asked me about the word Kristelnacht. I explained in general terms. How do you explain the death of millions because of hate? I still don’t know. I didn’t tell her about the deaths. We talked about how it is easier to know down a tower of blocks than it is to build one. And how it is easier to make fun of a new kid at school instead of taking the time to meet them. And that is how I explained 1938 Germany. It was easier to bring people together by giving them a group of people to pick on instead of learning how to work together. And it happened that the Jews were picked on.

I wonder how much of America coddles children. We worry about teaching them the dangers of the world. We worry about sex. We worry about drugs. I wonder if we worry about the wrong things. Should we teach them that there are dangers out in the world? Should we teach children that although there are dangers, you should simply be aware and not put yourself in danger? Not that they should avoid all possible dangers? I suspect at some point, Luna will try drugs. I suspect that Soleil will be too afraid to. Just based on their personalities. I hope to teach them about the dangers of drugs before they have a chance to try them. I hope to talk to them about sex and the emotional aspects before they menstruate. I hope to keep lines of communication open and to allow them to ask the tough questions.

How long can we keep children innocent of the world around them? Should we keep them innocent? Does it really change them to know that there might be danger out in the world?

What are your thoughts on this? 


A friend of mine was explaining how he would never let his kids play outside alone. Too dangerous. His oldest is 5 and in kindergarten.

Another friend was talking about getting an alarm system, not to keep people out, but to keep their daughter in when she’s a teen. She’s 6.

I explained to the first friend how we let the kids play outside by themselves (and I check on them), and how we’ve discussed "stranger danger", in our way. We’ve explained that if you took 1000 people, maybe ONE person might want to do something bad that MIGHT hurt them. So you can be friendly with strangers, but careful. We’ve explained what things you don’t do (go with someone, take food from a stranger, etc), but that they don’t have to be afraid of that. My friend was horrified. "But…but that’s when the loss of innocence starts! To explain that the world isn’t safe!"

And all I could think was "but it isn’t safe. But you don’t have to be afraid of it"

When do you think innocence is lost? (and yes, there will be a followup, but I am getting the dreaded crud)