Innocence. That classic word. The lack of knowledge is the definition used when we refer to children. They don’t know what the world is really like. So we hide them from it as long as possible.
This is not how Jay and I operate. I mean, we don’t go an explain everything in detail. Recently, Soleil asked me about the word Kristelnacht. I explained in general terms. How do you explain the death of millions because of hate? I still don’t know. I didn’t tell her about the deaths. We talked about how it is easier to know down a tower of blocks than it is to build one. And how it is easier to make fun of a new kid at school instead of taking the time to meet them. And that is how I explained 1938 Germany. It was easier to bring people together by giving them a group of people to pick on instead of learning how to work together. And it happened that the Jews were picked on.
I wonder how much of America coddles children. We worry about teaching them the dangers of the world. We worry about sex. We worry about drugs. I wonder if we worry about the wrong things. Should we teach them that there are dangers out in the world? Should we teach children that although there are dangers, you should simply be aware and not put yourself in danger? Not that they should avoid all possible dangers? I suspect at some point, Luna will try drugs. I suspect that Soleil will be too afraid to. Just based on their personalities. I hope to teach them about the dangers of drugs before they have a chance to try them. I hope to talk to them about sex and the emotional aspects before they menstruate. I hope to keep lines of communication open and to allow them to ask the tough questions.
How long can we keep children innocent of the world around them? Should we keep them innocent? Does it really change them to know that there might be danger out in the world?
What are your thoughts on this?
I wish I had the answers…
Itai’s really been growing up lately. He’s in second grade now, and starting to notice that a large portion of the world seems to be less than enchanted with his country, to say the least. He’s internalized all those life lessons about being nice to people and solving problems with our words. He knows that hatred and violence are wrong.
Now he wants to know why they don’t know it too.
Sigh.
Well, when I was 10, I visited Auschwitz in Poland. My grandmother didn’t think to shelter me from the harsh realities. Had I been younger, I probably wouldn’t have wanted to go. But I knew about it, I wanted to know more. The next few years, I did many school projects about it. It didn’t scare me too badly. I was very curious about learning more and spent a lot of library hours pouring over the details.
Perhaps it was this early experience that prepared me for working in a crime lab on homicides and sexual assaults. I don’t know. I plan on teaching my kids to be aware, but not shelter them.
On the other hand, I have no problem sheltering my girls from the likes of Hannah Montana and other similar “role models” for girls. Ugh. I cringe whenever I see kindergarten/first grade girls gush over HM. Why not create a female Doogie Howser? I’d like to see that.