Long day… I realize that I owe you guys some photos of the kitchen, but between life and snow and ice and everything, I’ve been way too busy.

Did you know if two Hondas hit, bumper to bumper, they don’t damage each other? I didn’t either until this morning. I was at a stop sign and the person behind me forgot about that pesky brake light. Sigh.. My back is not happy. Sigh


Anyway, I was reading this article:Mad at Dad. All I can think is "Seriously?" I mean, yes, I do have more mental cycles geared up toward the kids. Yes, I can tell you what they were wearing which day and what are their favorite foods, but is this REALLY important? No. Does it annoy me that he can’t multitask? Yeah, but as far as I can tell, most men have trouble at that. When we talk about it, it is clear that we think differently and have different priorities.

Please read that (if you have time). I’d love to hear other’s opinions…. 


Frustration and life

I am so damn frustrated right now! HR has asked for official telecommuting agreements between supervisor/employee. um, okay, so I filled on out. I never know exactly which days I will work from home, but I set it up. Then I was told I need exact days. Hello? I gave exact days. Then I found out that since I have to take a time out for the GS meetings and I finish up at nights, I would need an official tour of duty change. GAH! I am so pissed. Isn’t the idea to make things more flexible? I’m expecting HR to get back to me and reject it again.

Anyway, I am very busy, running like a decapitated chicken. Sigh. I spent all day yesterday running around for Luna and Soleil. Last night, I popped over to Circuit City to get some DVDs for tomorrow. Tomorrow? What is so important tomorrow? Why, I am glad you asked? You see, we haven’t gotten enough snow this year so  Mother Nature, bless her heart, has decided to dump us AGAIN with snow. Lovely.

Working on a very cool code at work. IF it decides to cooperate. Damnit!

I also, stupidly, decided to join Weight Watchers last week. Idiot. Now I am actually tracking what I am eating in an attempt to finish off those last pounds that I can never seem to lose. Sigh….


No Capes! No Capes! *

* From the Incredibles

I am on the verge of a mini break down. Just a mini one. THERE ARE TOO MANY THINGS TO DO IN ONE DAY.

Seriously, how do people survive this?

So far this is my week:

  1. Monday was an off day, spent the entire morning with girls outside/at neighbors to keep them out of Jay’s hair so he could relax.
  2. Sunday night? Luna requested to go in panties at night. And peed three times over night. Yeah!
  3. Tuesday, back to work (yea!) and take Jay to his infusion and to get Luna back at daycare and Soleil back at school after the break.
  4. Wednesday, look at the week and realize Jay needs to take Luna to the doc to do an ear check, go to pick up Soleil’s RIGHT Boot and return the LEFT boot that we had to take at the play space Sunday when someone took her right boot by mistake. And get the kids to temple. Oh and write a phase 2 proposal for XMM. And on Friday I am walking the school with Soleil (DON’T ASK), and going to her doctor to discuss anger management (an upcoming protected post) and then work
  5. Have I mentioned that I am also working on two Girl Scout volunteer awards projects?
  6. And I just set up a community service project for my Brownies? (we’re making valentine’s day cards for people in the hospital)
  7. And I was just assigned a fun job at work on the radiation belt ingress and egress (YES! It is fun, but alot of work)

How do other moms DO this? Are we really expected to be supermoms? Seriously?

How do people handle all of this?


Didn’t have time to volunteer yesterday!

I meant to stop at Starbucks and pledge to perform 5 hours of volunteer work. However, I got too busy.

I am in the process of doing a great deal for the Girl Scouts right now. We are setting up an award nomination for a council wide award. A biggie. I am excited because this person deserves it. I am also investigating if two of our leaders who do paid work for the GS can actually get volunteer awards. Then I was working on getting the new forms since our council merged this past year.

Next, I am trying to contact a local hospital to see if my Brownie Scouts can decorate or make decorations for the kids in the hospital. I think it would be nice to do that. We’re trying to instill the idea of volunteer work in our kids. Not just community service via food drives, but getting the in trenches.

Then I was busy last night helping Soleil work on a proposal to adopt a Right Whale. She has read several books on whales lately, and she decided her class could adopt one. I suggested perhaps her school could. She mentioned this to her teacher and the principal. The principal said it was a great idea and that Soleil should write up a proposal. Last night, we collected our research and she dictated the letter to me. I guided the letter (what do you want to do, WHY do you want to do it, HOW much will it cost, Where does the money go to help the whales and HOW will you raise the money). Personally, I a very psyched that she came up with this idea on her own. Now her sister wants to adopt an animal at the zoo…. Sigh

Add to this work, and clean up, and bed time and homework and violin practice? Yeah, I had no time to pledge to volunteer yesterday.

How about you? 

shhh. I’m hiding!

I spent most of today in a crowded crazy indoor playspace. Can you say "sensory overload"? Yeah. that’s me, not the kids.

As we were leaving, we discovered that someone took Soleil’s right boot and left one of their. Which wouldn’t have been so bad if they hadn’t taken BOTH right boots. So now Soleil has a wonderful set of two left boots. Lovely. I am checking the overstocks at Lands’ End right now, but I am pretty pissed at the manager at this playspace. She was not at all helpful in the whole situation. She kept telling us that we had to hunt down the kid from our party who took the boots. When we pointed out that a) we had gone through the 4 bins placed together and b) there were no kids at our party with EM as initials (in the boot) she got really pissy


I haven’t had much time to update. Friday, we had no school, so Soleil and I planned a "mom-daughter" day. It turned out "freak of nature" day as she invited her friend, N. This friend is in the 2 person reading group for the advanced readers in Soleil’s grade. It was scary. They thought the same way. They wanted to see the same exhibits. They melted the same way… I found Soleil’s twin. Downright scary!

Thursday I was at work for a very long day. First, I took Luna to an early morning check up and discovered that she still had an ear infection. Great. Then I dropped her off at daycare, got to work. Started working on the command load review and discovered that we had a crapload of issues that I needed to discuss with the flight Ops team. Then I got a call that Luna was sick. Called Jay and he said he would pick her and her medicine up. In the afternoon, I did a flight software upgrade. The same one we did in October. Sigh. I ran to meet the kids and Jay for dinner, then I was back at the Operations control center to watch that the new software was behaving well.

So, I haven’t been updating. Sorry about that, but I have been busy! 🙂 


Tomorrow night: Final photos from kitchen remodel!


Because I’m a wuss

Um, yeah. I just did something I never thought I would do.

I signed up for Girl Scout Camp Training.

(insert silent shock here…or gasps of horror)

Listen, I am not a camper. My idea of camping? hiking in the woods and returning to my 4 star hotel complete with rainfall shower head and massage services. I do have a dream of doing the Appalachian Trail sometime, but then again, I also have dreams with Viggo Mortenson and we all know THOSE ain’t gonna happen. 

I scream at the sight of spiders. I constantly worry about the boogieman WHOSE NATURAL HABITAT IS THE WOODS! (And don’t forget Bigfoot. He lives in the woods too!)

The things we do for our kids. At least I have until May to find the ultimate boogieman trap! 

Let’s chat. Topic? Parenting. I’ll begin

As you’ve been watching in pictures and other fun things, my life has been hectic. Since my depressive episode over the summer, I’ve been trying to destress, relax, talk calmly with the girls. You know, the impossible.

Last night was crazy. I stayed calm through it all, but it was hard.

Soleil left her after school care in a foul mood. The foulest I have seen her in a long time. It took several minutes to get her in the car. Then to get her to sit instead of turning around and pouting out the back window.

Turns out she had a fight with another girl about the game of Sorry. A huge fight. And instead of dealing, she got mad and the teacher put the game away and she broke her favorite (du jour) bead bracelet. And Jay tried to pick up all of the beads, but missed ONE sparkly purple one. This is important later.  We got her home and she rushed into her room, hiding under her covers. I calmly followed, asked permission to come up. She grunted and I took that as approval. Much screaming and kicking of the wall ensued as she described her problem. Then she needed to put her bracelet together (BUT DADDY WON’T LET ME!!!!!!) I got the beads from Jay and found that she had moved to under my bed. I put the beads on the carpet and walked away to check on Luna (who was in a pissing match with Jay. Lovely). When I came back, Soleil has sorted all of the beads under the bed and was screaming again. Apparently, she was missing 1 bead. The sparkly purple one. Mom, being the most awesome mother on the planet, found our bead collection and pulled out 5 beads…all the same size and all sparkly, and all the wrong shade of purple.  She was now hiding under her sister’s bed (they have a bunk and she gets the top). Sigh. I offered her three solutions. 1- she could wait until she got the purple sparkle bead from after school, 2- she could just use what she had (NO! IT RUINS MY PATTERN!!!!) , or 3- use these two sparkle beads that are a different shade but really really close (NO! IT HAS TO BE PERFECT!).

The final decision was to package it all up and wait for the next time she was at after school. Sigh. 10 more minutes and she let me carry her into the dining room for dinner. Whew!

Why do they not offer small owner’s manuals? Things that describe exactly what to do when you child becomes COMPLETELY PSYCHOTIC!  I used to think it was just my kids, but now I know it is all kids.

How do you handle these things? I wanted to throw things (and small children) into walls but I didn’t. I stayed calm.

9 Years

You would think 9 years is a long time.

When I saw E this Christmas and her brother S, it felt like a wrinkle in time. As if it were yesterday, 9 years has flashed by.

9 years has seen a boy grow to look more like his dad. A girl to look more and more like her mother.

9 years for a woman to raise two kids alone, in a village, but still alone.

9 years since a small convoy of army trucks crossed a train track in El Paso

9 years since a train engineer tried to stop

9 years since Corey left us all