I was recently sent a link to a great article called "Stop Worrying About Your Children!" Go ahead, please read it… All 3 pages. I’ll wait…

(insert tune from Jeopardy! here)

You back? Great. So, let’s discuss. What do you think? What ages are appropriate for things for your kids?

Does the neighborhood you live in allow you to make these decisions? If there are bullets flying, is it safer to be at home (in Boston a few years ago, a girl was hit by a shot while on her porch. She is now wheelchair bound. The bullet was not meant for her house)? Or safer to be out?

When would you let your child babysit? What age are the babysitters you hire?

Would you let your child walk to school? Ride their bike?

Here are my thoughts so you can tell me what a horrible parent I am…

• I have let the girls play out in the yard since Soleil was 4. When Luna hit 3ish, we let them both be out alone.
• I have let them bike in the neighborhood cul-du-sac without me. With walkie-talkies and me in my driveway, but while giving them freedome
• We’ve let them walk up the street on the sidewalk without us with the walkie-talkies.
• We walk them to the bus stop, which is around the corner and down the next street. The bus stops on a busy street.
• The youngest sitter we’ve had was 13. Luna walked all over her. Our regular sitter started at 14.
• We’ve taught them what to do if someone asks to help find a dog, etc. We repeatedly check them on that.
• We’re making sure they can both swim. And then still insist they not be alone near a pool.
• We have let them have small amounts of alcohol, during Shabbot and Passover. We’ve talked about how they can’t do this with friends or at anyone else’s house. Yes, they are still 4 & 6. Yes, they have had wine. And NO, it is not just Manichevitz.
• We’ve not yet approached rape/sex/casual sex. etc… I am planning on teaching them both how to put a condom on.
• We have discussed never getting in a car with someone drinking or if they have had a drink. We’ve explained that this won’t happen for a long time, but it will happen. And they had better call us.
• We let them explore their world with out ignoring them
• Soleil is learning how to flip pancakes
• Luna is learning how to pour them out.

I read letter to the editor recently that said "the parents need to teach our children not to drink" and "these young adults are being killed and need to be responsible" and "we need stronger laws for our children". Okay, so they are both children and young adults? um, no, you can’t have it both ways. Teens are a mix. Their brains are still working on the maturity to learn how to evaluate situations. They need parental guidance, but we have to allow them to make mistakes.

In general, I find Americans are afraid to let our children explore. Trust me, I get scared of this too. Jay often needs me to remember the worst case scenario and then walk the kids through it. Then we realize how they CAN do this. We need to be there to help our children. Allowing them freedom is not negligence.

Okay, getting my fireproof suit on!