Recently, I hear that someone got Dooced. That just sucks. Fortunately, there is very little risk of getting Dooced here because not that many people read my blog and those who are at work are even lower. So I can proceed with my post today with out fear, because there is very little Dooce risk here.
My office mate and co-worker is leaving this position next month. This is mightily stressful, but I am getting over that stress. Add in my fun depression and you can imagine the love here! Panic! Anxiety!
3 weeks ago, my supervisor and his supervisor, we’ll call them Frick and Frack wanted to meet with me. There was that work snafu during my vacation and then a few other slip ups lately. Also, I was freaking out about the whole "gah! We’re losing my co-worker" thing, so I had stopped up to talk to Frack about this. Due to various issues, this meeting was canceled and moved and all sorts of fun.
Yesterday, we had this meeting. We did discuss the issues of why I got so overloaded with work earlier this year when my co-worker let the supervisors know that he was looking, but for obvious reasons, they couldn’t tell me, nor could they give him these tasks. But we did discuss two "failures"(?) I’ve had recently. Attention to detail. Productivity. Etc.
We came down with an agreement that I need to manage my time better, although they understood the stresses I’ve been under. I also received praise for how I handle some of the other work I have.
The oddest part of this is that I handled the entire meeting well. In the past, I would have burst into tears. I would take this as a reflection of who I am as a person. I would feel that I am useless and a waste of biomass.
This time, I explained what happened. I agreed that in both cases, I could have handled things better. As a group, we agreed that I need to work on better time management skills. Then we moved on how to make our weekly tag ups more efficient.
Don’t get me wrong, I was certainly upset a bit that I had screwed up. The thing is, I am very proud of myself for just sucking up and saying, "okay, I messed up, let’s work on ways to avoid that in the future and move forward". I let a great deal of stress fall off of me by accepting this.
This was nice. I know that Frick and Frack aren’t about to fire me for a minor screw up. And I now know that I can forgive myself as well.