A study of stress October 3, 2009
Posted by spacemom in : Nance , trackbackDo you see a theme here? I certainly do.
A friend of mine (I consider her an IRL friend even though we’ve only met once. We’ve been cyber friends forever), mentioned that I am asking to distress, but not doing it. And she is right. This has lead me to stop and have an introspective of stress. What are my stresses?
I am usually my worst enemy when it comes to stress. I push myself and push myself. I never like to sit and relax. I need to move and move and move. Hell, even now I need to type while watching a hockey game. I am also a perfectionist. I need to get things just perfect. Imagine how I felt today when I let Soleil shape the loaf of bread that I was making. A year ago, I would have been hyperventilating!
So here’s my analysis:
- My immediate supervisor has lost it. Totally lost it. He is acting insane and I strongly believe this is why my office mate switched to another job. Recently, I made a mistake and sent an email to the wrong address. I immediately got an email back from him reprimanding me for not being careful and sending this out without checking my email. I would have expected this sort of response if I had made it a habit to accidental send out emails, but this was the first time in 6 years I made a mistake with this email.
- I work 32 hours a week. Correction, I get PAID for 32 hours a week. I work closer to 40-45. This is frustrating because I am tethered to my blackberry often. I am on call every 3 weeks and hopefully we can move it back to once every 4 weeks. This is often a tough week when things go wrong. Somehow I need to remind my supervisor that I work 32 hours a week. And yes, I do check in on my off days, and on weekends. But I want to remind him I am taking a pay cut to be at home on Mondays, so he needs to remember that I don’t HAVE to check in.
- I worry too much about being the perfect mom. I feel that working makes it hard for me to be with the kids. However, when I am with the kids, they don’t want me. I am a Girl Scout Leader, I am helping with the young family group in our temple, I try to work with kids. Am I doing too much? Maybe.
- My kids don’t sleep. I still invite any one who cruises to please come over tonight and get Soleil to sleep before 10:30 without yelling, threatening or belittling.
- My medications are off. Yes, seriously. My thyroid is all over the place. I was hyperthyroid in June, then hypo thyroid in August. We are trying to fix this, but I am having insomnia once every 3 nights right now. (This is down from 2 to 3 weeks from April-June). And I have gained a ton of weight since we discovered my meds were off.
- I always feel I need to get things done.
So now I need to work on reducing this stress. For right now? I am going to close the computer, my eyes and rest and listen to the TV.
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