Since she was born, Luna has been my little jokester. While Dr. Jay and Soleil have birthdays on the 23rd of certain months, Luna waited until the 24th, screwing up everybody in my family as to which date is her birthday. She was born silent: breathing, looking around, checking out the place, but so silent that I freaked that she was not breathing. She would take several 10 minute catnaps and 1 long nap a day as an infant. I literally set a clock by her. She wanted to always be held and I allowed as much as I could.
She learned the power of her awesome cuteness in daycare. She could wrap anyone around her finger with her cute little smile and those eyes that just say "I am adorably cute". She only got in trouble when she bit people. And she would only scream with me and Dr. Jay.
Now, she is doing her slacker work. She is very bright. In some ways, she is far brighter than Soleil, but she has this one horrible personality trait: She doesn’t want people to know what she knows. She hides her skills from her teachers. She doesn’t try very hard because she thinks she knows it already. Her kindergarten teacher was warned, we tried…but Luna won the day. Over the summer, she told me that school was boring.
We started first grade differently. We explained to her teacher how Luna can manipulate people. How she pretends what she knows, how she is the joker. I was dissappointed in her first trimester assessment, not that she was doing poorly, but that it was clear she was not applying herself. That made me sad. We have tried and tried to impress this on her.
Her last skating competition went, poorly. Basically? She stunk and she knew it. She wasn’t smooth, she faultered and she was not confident. She ended 4th out of 4. Of course, she still got a medal, but she knew it wasn’t her best. This week, another round of reality hit her.
I was helping with her homework when I noticed her teacher had written that Luna needs to study her sight words more. I asked Luna about this and she said it was "too easy" and "we don’t need to do them everyday". Now with Soleil, we truely didn’t need to do them everyday. But now I paid attention. I had Luna read them and sure enough, she was having trouble with the words that don’t follow basic phonic rules (Where, there…). I wrote an email to her teacher discussing her lack of reading the keys and that we (the parents) would work more with her.
That’s when I found out that she’s been rolling her eyes at the teacher, and zoning out during the lessons. Is she really bored? I don’t know, but I told her that if she doesn’t show that she knows the stuff, she will get herself behind in class. And the eyerolls? "I just happened to be looking at the ceiling when she was talking to me." HA!
The best that Jay and I can determine is this: she’s terrified of failure. It’s one thing to be the class clown and fall and get a laugh. It’s another thing to try to do the right thing and fall. Jay thinks it is really the latter that is worrying her. I explained that we want Luna best. Not the best grades, not the best in the class, not better than the worse kid, HER best.
She is very upset because I have put her reading above all other things right now…she’s not happy, but if we don’t teach her the importance of TRYING, I am afriad she will simply sit back and not get anywhere…