Itching to write

I’ve been, well, overwhelmed with living lately. We’ve been extremely busy at home and work. I want to get more time to write, but I have little time to do that. So, I will do my best.

As we leave May and enter June, I am preparing for a camping trip with my Girl Scouts. We are going to the great wilds of Cape Cod for a huge camporee of approximately 2200 girls. It will not be quiet.

We’ve purchased a tent in preparation for this. In addition to our tent purchase, I finally agreed to let Dr. Jay purchase a boat. He’s been wanting to buy an inflatable boat for years. We decided that this kayak would be good. It is more of a canoe than kayak, and it only holds one adult+ two kids or two adults (when the kids are at camp??) We took it down to the river in town and checked it out.

First, Dr. Jay and the girls took it for a spin:

Then Soleil and I went out. I think I need a better fitting life jacket. This one may kill me.

We’ve also jumped into summer with the pool around the corner opening up. When I say “around the corner”, it is a 3 minute bike ride to the club. The girls spent at least 7 hours there this past weekend.

My garden is growing, although not as fast as I would like. I have planted mint this year, so I can have home grown mojitos.

I have not been doing so well with my business project. I am getting lots of great feedback and many people thinking it is a wonderful idea, but I am getting no work. A great idea that nobody is willing to try. I need to brain storm this weekend when I am camping and come up with some new ways to get the word out.

Work is tiring. What can I do? It is. I’ve received no calls from the several jobs I have applied to outside of my company. Sad. I can’t tell if I am over or under qualified. On the other hand, I’ve worked here for 16 years in June and I am finally accruing enough vacation time to save at the end of the year. I really wiped it out with 2 pregnancies with bedrest and 2 infants where mom stayed home when they were ill.

I am also working on reinventing me. After my wedding, I lost 50 lbs and got much healthier. I am trying to do this again. I feel much healthier than in the past, but I weigh almost as much as I did when I gave birth to Luna! I am really trying T-Tapp again and I will stick with it longer. I also have 2 half-marathons planned for the winter. Hopefully, in 6 months to a year, I will be thinner, fitter and all around healthier.

Smile and wave

She is only seven.
I still have to help her get her skates on.
She just learned how to tie her sneakers.
She just learned how to remove the blade guards.

I watch her struggle to stretch the spring on the guards.
She steps on the ice and swoosh, she is gone.
The scratching of her blades on the fresh ice are like fingernails on my soul.

She is only seven.
My baby.
Yet on the ice, she has the grace of a swan.
She is more comfortable on two thin blades of metal than a fish in water.
left forward inside edge, side toe hop, right forward outside edge
bunny hop,bunny hop, waltz jump, mazurka.
She rises a good 5-6 inches off the ice and lands without fear.

I cannot keep up with her.
I’ve reached the point that I must simply sit off to the side and watch.
I can’t tell when she does a half toe loop
I confuse it with a half lutz.

She has coaches now.
They will guide her in her natural element.
My beautiful, warm ice princess
Her blades cut patterns and figures in the ice
and cut the maternal strings in my soul.

All I can do
is sit in the bleachers
and smile and wave

The one about religion-part five

Yeah, I know this took forever.Shut up, as if life doesn’t get all in your face too and take away all of the time you have.

Partly why this took so long is that I will probably offend EVERYONE. So hang in there.

So I have two kids. Two Jewish children who go to religious school and learn about God and all of that and their heritage and all of the things that make them Jewish. And I am not. Not only am I not Jewish, I am not anything. I just am.

This leads to some interesting conversations in our house. Soleil is proud to be Jewish as is Luna, but Soleil believes in a G-d. Luna doesn’t. Luna doesn’t see a conflict with being Jewish and not believing in G-d. Soleil does. We often discuss these things since I am atheist. Soleil gets very upset at anyone who makes fun of other religions. She gets upset at people who don’t understand that you can go without religion.

I’ve had to learn a great deal about Judaism to be a parent to Jewish children. Here’s my basic comparisons between Christianity and Judaism based on my experiences. I went to an Episcopal and the United Church of Christ as a child.

  • G-d totally chilled out about some of the laws after having a kid
  • The leaders of the Christian congregations stressed obedience to G-d’s word.
  • The leaders of the Jewish congregations stressed obedience to one’s conscience
  • If you ask forgiveness for your sins from G-d, you can reach salvation (Christianity)
  • You must ask forgiveness from both G-d and those you harmed. (Judaism)
  • To be a true Christian, you have to obey the word of G-d
  • A true Jew prays like everything depends on G-d, but acts as if everything depends on himself
  • Both religions can be corrupted by those who choose to use the words for their own power
  • Both religions can be used to hold down women and the weak.
    • In the end, I can understand, in my heart, why I can’t follow any religion. Our temple has reached an interesting bump in the road where the rabbis are seriously discussing allowing one of the rabbis to perform a mixed marriage. This brings up the question of what is a Jewish community? And Dr. Jay and I are discussing it. We are on the same page. Neither of us want to see our daughters, or their friends turned away because they love someone who is not Jewish. The rabbis should respect the desire of the member who wants G-d in their marriage even if it cannot be a true Jewish ceremony.

      So, I guess this kind of wraps up my religion rant.

      Flame away and please ask if I failed to cover a point.

Tapping the mic

Yes, I am still here.

Life is amazingly busy. I can barely come up for air. Let’s just say that I have been busy at work, home, girl scouts, helping the kids with personal issues and other fun things.

The biggest thing going on is: fear.

I am about to send out the announcement that I need science projects for the RBT*. I am still on a job search, but I am either over or under qualified for where I’ve applied to 15 jobs (13 are still open). Sigh. The other RBT is going ok. I have about 25 people who want to do this. I have zero people giving us work. Sigh. So the push is on to find work for us. I really want to get this going. If I can get the word out, if we can get people started sending us work, I know this will take off.

I am currently collecting emails of people I know, people at small locations, people with grant money.
Sigh. Wish me luck, I am going to need it!

As for me personally, I am having thyroid issues up the wazoo. I have seen one of the top specialists in Boston and we are first going to force my meds on a strict schedule. This should help. Then in six weeks, we’re going to do a blood check and also do a non-tropical sprue test. Why? Turns out there is a connection. If I have NTS (or celiac disease), I don’t have the typical symptoms. In a small number of hypothyroid patients, celiac disease flies under the radar. You check the antibodies and if the test is positive, then you cut out gluten. This might* (big fat might) be the cause of the craziness in my system. Who knows. The doctor did warn me that it is a big net they cast and only catch a handful of NTS cases, but for those few, this is a great life changer.

For the girls, I have Soleil running with me for exercise and I think I have convinced her to run a 5K with me. We are doing 90s running, 60s walking. I want to push it to 90s running and 45 s walking and then keep that pace for the race. Luna recently finished a skating competition that I will try post soon. I post a lot on faceboook for those who “know” me, but I really need to write more here.