Sometimes, I find myself so busy that I forget what is important to me. There’s the old saying, “Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my sanity the most.” For me? I miss silence.
I love silence. Sometimes the silence is to much and I want noise, but right now, I am finding that I crave silence. With two kids in the middle of childhood, I feel I am the chauffeur of life. I spend about 2 hours a day driving kids places, usually ice rinks. We talk. I love this time because it is usually one on one time and I get to talk to the girls about everything. I listen to Pokemon ideas, I listen to problems with friends and crushes on boys. I hear about their problems and their joys.
But I rarely get silence. I took Monday off of work because Luna had a doctor appointment downtown. I walked the dog. I did some needlework. I gardened. I was in silence. It was glorious. I need the quiet more than I think I do.
I am finding that I also need to write. This helps to express my stresses and my fears. So I am going to try to do more, but it is difficult. Does anyone care what I say?
I started running a few years ago. I am still doing it. I am SLOW. I plod along, but I am slowly getting faster. I have signed up for 2 1/2 marathons (that’s 13.1 miles). One is in October and the other is in November. I also, foolishly, signed up to do the Challenge for the November one. That means Saturday, I run 10K, and the next day, 13.1 miles (21K). HA HA HA *flump*. But I get quiet if I don’t use my headphones. I might not for my next run. I have a relay 1/2 marathon in 2 weeks. I am doing the 7.25 mile (12K) leg. I did a training run this weekend that was slower than I wanted, mostly because my pace watch wasn’t working. I want to do this with an average pace of 12:30. I did it with an average pace of 12:54 (min/mile). The thing is, I really want to break the 3 hour mark for my next 1/2 marathon. My fastest time is 3:03:39. That’s close to a total pace of 14 min/miles. I know I can do this, but I really need to work it.
Why do I push so hard? I’m not sure. There’s a drive that is really making me want to move this. I am not sure why, but it’s there. I will NEVER EVER win a race. Just finishing is a win for me. Here I am, 44 years old, overweight, short, and running 1/2 marathons. All I can do is work on being faster.
So, I will work on it. And enjoy the silence.