Wow, the code I am testing is taking much longer than I expected to do the work. Hmmmm This frees up a few minutes to type, but my brain is trying to figure out what I am going to do to optimize it (maybe compile in optimized form?)
I’ve been thinking about life and death lately. Soleil is getting older. She is now 9 and looks it! IT is amazing watching both Luna and Soleil grow and learn about life, living and how things work in our society.
I’ve also been thinking about WhyMommy. When I first started following her blog, she was writing about her son and son to be. Young, happy toddler and mom working in planetary sciences; she was a great read. She chose the moniker WhyMommy hoping her children would constantly ask that. This is something that geeks really hope for: children who share the curiosity of the universe. After her second son was born, she discovered a problem with breast feeding. That problem quickly turned into IBC, a fairly dangerous form of breast cancer that doesn’t involve lumps in the breast. She went through the mastectomies and through the treatments with what some people call courage.
I have continued to follow her. I know one woman who refused to read anymore because it made her too sad. I still follow because WhyMommy has some great thoughts to share with the world. I like reading her words. Unfortunately, the cancer has made several returns, the latest last week. She made a comment about her new chemo port which makes the chemo treatment easier. She said (paraphrasing) "for the chemo I will have for the rest of my life". That gave me pause.
When I think "rest of my life", there is a long horizon and somewhere, sometime, I will intersect that horizon and move onto death. Every day we are dying. For WhyMommy, the horizon is closer to her current spot. She knows this, we all do, and she is living her life with that knowledge. Yet, she doesn’t hold it in the negatives. I am sure she has down days and days when she looks at her kids and wishes that horizon was unknown. I simply cannot even start to imagine not seeing my children grow. I know that must be so painful for her.
I see others say how courageous and strong she acts. I want to scream when I see that and say "She is just living her life the best she can. No, it’s not fair, but what other choice does she have?" I see a woman who is human and living with dignity. She loves her family and she seeks to keep life as normal as possible for them. She continues on her work for women in planetary sciences. She advocates for cancer treatments. She is a remarkable person.
While she undergoes this latest treatment round, I want to put a shout out for WhyMommy. This is the type of person I aspire to be. She is kind, friendly, intelligent, generous and continues to spread her words across the internet. She has recently become Catholic and found a faith that I know I could never have and I sincerely hope that helps bring peace to her.
We are all hurtling towards our horizon. We might see it moving closer. We might never see it coming, like my friend Corey who died in a blink of an eye. So take the time today to look around. See the people around you. Enjoy them for who they are. And take life as it comes. Because that’s what WhyMommy is doing. She moves forward and just takes life as it comes.