For some people, survival involves wearing sweaters upon sweaters while they turn the heat down. For others, buying store brands, cutting medicines in half, cutting tissues to save money are forms of survival. Some find survival in alcohol, other in drugs, other in religion.  Family can help some survive bad situations, others need the solitude to find the way to survive.

I will be with my parents and my sister for the next 6 days.

Let’s hope I survive.

We are home from the hospital. 

It was a long day yesterday. Dad did well in the surgery. However, he lost his IV with a vengeance in recovery. It blew out and they had to try to  get a new one in as  he started waking. After several attempts, they got his foot. Sigh.

Then he started having claustrophobic attacks. Very scary. He would just start screaming to get out of bed and to get the neck brace off of him (yeah, don’t think so buddy. Keeping that neck brace on dude!). At least he got some anxiety meds for it. The evening was difficult and he had a very rough night. He really wanted to get out last night. So, being home is the best place…

Still worried, but I am glad he is home. Less chance of infections, less chance of a claustrophobia attack.

Once again, I am writing this on a plane. I actually like travel, but
even I am starting to think "no mas". Since February 27, I am have been constant motion: Hawaii, Chicago, Cleveland and now North Carolina. This is tiring, and it has thrown off my entire system of everything. I suppose if I traveled for work on a regular basis, this wouldn’t be bad, but one of this was work, one was pleasure with friends, one was Passover and now today is for mom.

A few weeks ago, mom called me up. She was upset and could only tell me that dad needed surgery. Then she had to go and I said to call me back. Then dad called. He wanted to tell me. A few years ago, he had two vertebrae in his neck connected to cadaver bone and titanium plates. His natural bone has been thinned by time and was pressing nerves causing him severe pain in his legs.
The 2 year check up showed that one of the bones healed cleanly. The other was separated and kind of free floating around his spinal cord.

The surgery was scheduled for April 8th immediately. He had a second opinion that day since he was not in any pain. The second doctor clearly agreed. It wasn’t a problem unless something caused the bones fragments to move. Then, it could be bad.

This is the part that is more upsetting than anything else. Mom called back in tears. This has been a crazy year. Last May, she fell out of bed and broke her back. She still is in pain. In between, she has had a pulmonary embolism complete with an ICU stay, constant back pain to the point of needing heavy meds, and general stress. She wanted to know if I could come down to just be with her. I said yes right away. However, and I know this is selfish, I am sad. This is the start of taking care of my parents.
I am the youngest of two kids, but I am in a better place, emotionally, family and financially to help my parents. My sister and mom fight constantly. (side note- we’re going over the George Washington bridge! cool) She is also raising 3 kids (okay, N is 19, but he still lives at home), she and her husband are still trying to keep costs down and paying down debt like most Americans.

It is up to me to be my parents keeper. And I don’t wanna.
I know several bloggy friends, Omegamom, The Fixer Mamma, the blogger formerly known as Mrs. Figby, who have all had to shut up and grow up lately to be the adult for their parents. Now it is my turn and I don’t wanna. (insert foot stomp here).

I’m scared. They are only 67 (turning 68 this year). They are way too young for this. They have been retired for 10 years and are enjoying life when they aren’t sick. When I saw them last at Thanksgiving, mom looks so…old. Of course, a large part of that was her back hurting, so she couldn’t walk straight, but still.

How often will I need to make this flight? We already come down to NC once a year to visit them. Will I need to do this more often? I honestly don’t know.
I believe I have power of attorney for them. I know I am executrix for them. I want mom to start to give me some more information on their finances. They’ve already consulted me on some things since I am in charge of the will (and they are planning to deed their house over in the future).

I am just not ready to be the adult.

After a day of annoying poking and proding, my MIL talked to the doctor today. She is clean. This is just a bone growth. Nothing else. Not cancer. Nothing else in her body that even comes close to abnormal (except her humor).

Thank you. Thank you all for your good thoughts. Today, l’chiam! 

Being atheist/agnostic, I don’t hold much weight in prayers for people. I mean, if I am asked, I will think good thoughts about the person, but prayers just don’t seem to work for me.

However, I would like to ask for some good thoughts for my MIL today.

She has been suffering from vertigo since she fell into a wall in April. In trying to diagnose this, her  PCP found a grey mass on her skull. Not her brain, her skull, bone tissue. Finally, after much insistence, she got her PCP to consult a neurologist who pronounced it cancer (ass, you need a biopsy to declare any mass as cancer)

Today she is having a scan to look for another location that may show a similar signature. This way, they could do a biopsy somewhere else. The mass is on the frontal lobe of her skull and not a great place do to a biopsy.

We are all hoping that a) they find no other signs of this and b) the mass in her skull is benign. Either way, some good thoughts for a wonderful woman in Cleveland are requested.

Thanks

Being Soleil’s birthday, she got to choose dinner last night. She chose, (drum roll because this is so unpredictable..NOT!) Friendly’s Ice Cream. In Boston, to not go to Friendly’s is to declare your allegiance to the Yankees. Jay’s parents are visiting for our science birthday party, so they were joining us for dinner. Somehow, their TomTom got them lost. All I know is that Jay was baning his head into the window saying "WHY ARE YOU SEEING A SIGN FOR PROVIDENCE RHODE ISLAND?"

When they finally arrive at the restaurant, MIL is upset because FIL kept insisting that  she should do this that and the other thing. In addition, for no apparent reason, the TomTom kept sounding a bell. I took a look at the TomTom. There is a setting under safety for "Places of Worship and Schools". Of course, this option was set. And the alarm for this setting was "Annoyingly loud klaxon bell #1"

This meant, every time that passed within an unspecified radius of a church, temple, mosque or school, the damn thing went off.  I would have fully supported my MIL if she strangled the designer of this software or my FIL for setting it on. Which ever came first.