Category Archives: Kids

When good is good.

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So, Dr Jay is down in Miami to be with his parents while his mom recuperates from her broken hip. I am playing single mom.

We went down to the American Girl Store on Saturday. I do spoil my girls here. I allowed them each $60 to spend. Soleil had earned a $24 outfit on top of the $60 (Because I bribed her to do her multiplication. Because I will use whatever motivation I can to get her to understand that if you tell yourself you can’t, you won’t. If you have a goal, you can reach it!) Each girl ended up spending $76, so I suggested they pay me back $10 of the $16. Soleil agreed and paid up right away. Luna still wants me to take it from her bank account. I still need to explain that it will come out of her piggy bank (she has enough, but she’s 6. ’nuff said.)

Friday, I got a chance to play scientist. The girls and I are reading a book where "a blown ostrich egg" was mentioned. Soleil asked what that was and I explained. She begged for us to do that with a chicken egg. So, out came the drill, a sharp needle to puncture the yolk and a straw to blow the air through without putting our mouths up to the egg. It took about 15 minutes, but we got everything out and then filled the shell with water and blew that until it was clear. It’s fun to just say "sure, let’s try that". I think I need to do that more.

Yesterday, Soleil got her first migraine and even fell asleep on the couch! If you’ve ever read here before, you know this girl doesn’t sleep!

Luna had a "glamor party", and came home looking like a 6 year old tramp. Then her cheeks broke out from the blush. I’ll have to toss it today, but I’ll let her keep the eye shadow.

Things are good. Life is good. I am missing Dr. Jay, but when I look around me, I can’t help but feel good. 

 

Homework- What’s the point?

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We’ve been doing homework. When I say "we", I mean, WE.

Soleil has many more projects due at school now. One of these projects was a doll dressed in Native American (Wampanougue) clothing or as a pilgrim. Being Soleil, we had to SEW a doll and SEW the clothes. UGH over achiever. I helped with the patterns and pin basting, but she sewed and stuffed the doll. I made her do about 95% of the work (okay I sewed the hair on)

Now she has a report due on a book we had to read (we meaning Luna wanted to hear it too, so I read it out loud). She needs to make a diorama, include a summary, an envelope with 10 words from the story (I want her to pick out 10 Mohawk words just to fuck with the teacher), the characters drawn and named on the side of the box and a scene from the book. To get the supplies alone is homework for me.

And really? What is she getting from this? I don’t know… I really don’t know. We studied the clothing that the Wampanague wore before designing it (she did the clothing design and beaded it herself!). We discussed the book. I really don’t get the point of these home works.

Every parent I ran into in 3rd grade complained about the doll. They had to go get supplies. The instructions were open ended, so we had to let the kids decide what type of doll to make. We have spelling words, math and other things to go over every single day. Yes, the parents are expected to go over all of the work. I look at it and say "WHY????" Why are they giving so much to these kids? WHY WHY WHY?

When Soleil has to multiply by 5s she panics. Then I say : Big hand on the 4! and she can answer 5 x 4 in a fraction of a second. She gets it, but gets afraid of the wrong answer…

I think I am becoming jaded with American education.

Me time?

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How does one really find me time?

Yesterday, after I finished my 4 hours of work, I sat down to read. I was able to mostly finish "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo" in quiet. Then, I had kids, dinner, snow, mess, run out for 3 hours for shopping, etc.

I got my friend Becky a T-shirt that reads "If mom’s not happy, nobody’s happy. Me Time." She’s a widow, so she is mom all of the time. It’s not even a "dad has the kids for the weekend" type of parenting, it’s her.

How does she find me time? She stays up to ungodly hours of the night and lives on little sleep. It’s a habit she started after her husband died and she couldn’t sleep.

I don’t know where to find me time. I have so much I want to get done, and so little time to do it. Sigh.

How do you find me time? When do you read? Exercise? Cook? Bake?

Say what?

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Last night, I had the joy of going to Soleil’s parent teacher conference. Yea me. NOT.

I hate these. I get to hear the same things, "She’s so smart, but she can’t focus.", "She’s a real pleasure to have in class, but she needs better self control.", and my personal favorite, "I love it when kids read, but I often have to stop her from reading because she needs to follow the class." Last night was not too different. We started with the book statement (yeah, I know…) and then moved onto the "real pleasure" statement. Fortunately, I had started the school year with speaking to her teacher about some of her issues (no-I haven’t gone into them and I probably won’t, but let me say, they aren’t considered special needs so she can’t get an IEP even though she really needs one- But don’t get me going or I will never shut up about the inherent unfairness of the system)

I was waiting for her teacher when the phonics teacher came out of the classroom. I had just discovered on Monday that Soleil went to a phonics class. This was very surprising to me since she has been speaking since 13 months old and her enunciation is the clearest I have heard from a child except when she calls hamstrings "hamsters", but that may just be confusion. Luna clearly needs help with speech and has only recently realized that the word "the" is spelled with the "TH" blend instead of the "D" she hears and says.

The phonics teacher took a moment to introduce herself and tell me a bit about Soleil’s classroom behavior. While doing well, I discovered that she needs extra help with her short vowels. Apparently, she can’t tell the difference between a short "a" and a short "e" sound when speaking. Um, okay…However, she is very fluent and emotive in her speaking and is a real joy to the classroom. After a few minutes of the explicit issues with my daughter’s speech patterns, I couldn’t resist, "I do have to point out ", I said in my best, calm voice, "that both my husband and I are from the mid-west. I am afraid she has learned how to speak with our accent."

Teacher stops and blinks. "Oh! I never thought about that." Blinks some more. I think the gears are moving in her head. I am afraid smoke will start pouring out of her ears in a moment. "Well, I’ll keep that in mind, but if you could help her when reading and speaking, that would really help."

Smiling my best smile that says that I am biting my tongue, I agreed and checked "You said it was her short vowels, right? And we should help her practice?"

"That’s the general idear".

I almost burst out laughing right then and there. A woman with such a strong Boston/New England accent is teaching my kiddo, who has excellent enunciation for someone who could be from Erie PA, how to speak. If she starts replacing random "ah" sounds with "er" sounds and replacing "ar" with "ah", I am going to have to hurt somebody.

Oh hi! You’re still reading?

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Yeah, well, it’s been a wee bit crazy at Chez Spacefamily, so I haven’t been around much here. I have been on facebook and a friend challenged me to do workouts everyday, and I am trying to eat better (does it count if I have a salad and then Doritos?), and the kids have mucho activities and grandparents were here and hannukah…. I could go on, but your brains would explode. If anyone is still reading, of course!

I have a IRL friend who moved far far away, as in not only the west coast, but to CANADA’s west coast. She is homeschooling her kids, but in a new way called "unschooling" (ie- no set curriculum,class time etc). If you are interested, her blog is here. We don’t always agree, but I find her way of thinking interesting and sometimes wish it for my kids.

Our kids are fully packed. Most of my friends think we are crazy for letting them do too much. Sometimes I agree, but other times I don’t.

Soleil has: hockey (her choice), violin(her choice), Girl Scouts(her choice) and Hebrew School (our choice)

Luna has: figure skating (her choice), Girl Scouts(her choice) and Hebrew School(our choice).

Luna used to have piano, but she got fed up with it and we decided it wasn’t worth forcing. She now wants to learn guitar or flute. I am voting guitar since flute is something she can take in school and she is pretty good at coming up with songs. I can imagine her wanting to play around with chords and singing even if she doesn’t know music theory.

What does this have to do with my friend? I think about choices. Dr. Jay made is clear that he wanted the girls to learn about their Jewish heritage. Not just the religion, but the ethnic portion of the culture. How it is mostly recently that Jews are intermarrying, what have Jews done historically and what do Jews feel are their obligations to society (note: all forms of Judaism are different, but our temple is very big on culture and social help and giving back to society).Ok, I am good with that, even though I am atheist.

But the ice hockey? That was Soliel’s choice after seeing her cousins play. The figure skating? Once we got Luna on the ice, she was off! She started at age 3 and never looked back! Violin? When Soleil was 3, she saw a violin for the first time. From that point on, she wanted to play. We made her wait until she was 6 so she would be a bit more patient…

The girls have also done soccer (one wants to continue, one would rather try karate). We try to allow them to do what they choose. I don’t want to force them into something specific, although I did with piano and that was probably a bad thing to try.

My friend is very good with allowing her kids to choose their way. I do make my kids go to our public school. We will need to evaluate this as life continues. I’ve mentioned this before, Massachusetts is one of 5 states that does not consider gifted as a special need. Therefore, despite Soleil’s need for an individual education plan, she is left out. We may need to deal with this as time goes by. Luna is also gifted, but the principal at her school wants less pull out classes and more integrated approaches. This frustrates the hell out of her and I hear it EVERYDAY.

I don’t think I could do unschooling. I am not patient and I would want to teach in more structured settings. But then again, we discuss everything and anything in our family. When a girl noticed that "everything is made in China", we discussed why. I asked how much they thought groceries for a week cost. The answer they gave was $10-$20. When I reported closer to $100-$150, they were shocked! And then discussing world wages shocked them more. So maybe we do unschool.

Anyway, most of this is just food for thought babble. I am tossing ideas around in my head. I need to think more about everything.

Rolling the genetic dice

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I sometimes am absolutely blown away by the wonders of our DNA. This twisting double helix, tiny and beautiful, containing all of the parts that make us up, hidden and exposed, dominant and recessive, active and dormant, is the core of all of us. I look at my daughters and I wonder how two children with the same parents could be so incredibly different?Here’s a quick chart of the differences.

 Luna  Soleil
 Loud  Quiet
 Extrovert  Introvert
 Wants to be read to every night Wants to read in bed every night
 Lots of friends  Not many friends
 No friend is close  All friends are close
 Is afraid that nobody likes her  Knows that only a few like her well
 Will goof  Is afraid to goof
 Follows rules even if they are not reasonable Will question authority wisely
 Likes to tease me to the end of my patience. Knows where I am ready to lose it and stops teasing me!

 

 

 

 

I understand the physical differences, but the internal, who these kids are differences, are so….DIFFERENT, it drives me crazy. Luna teases and teases and teases. Soleil will tease, but quickly stops when she sees that the person is getting upset. I can take Soleil on the playground and she finds a single friend to play with while Luna will have the whole playground wrapped around her finger. However, Soleil’s friendships run deep and Luna is terrified that nobody likes her.

Quiet.Loud.Goofy.Demanding.Plays well with her sister. Loves American Girl Dolls. These things are in common. But when it comes to other things, I do have to wonder.

Well, that was fun!

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It’s been a terribly long week.

Luna’s been fevering

Dr. Jay has been feeling ill.

Last night, Jay had a horrible vertigo attack. The current thought is: Meniere’s disease, however, we need to have an MRI done on tuesday to rule out the "scary" things. Not going there. Okay? I am not going there.

I have to get through until Sunday… We have a Girl Scout event on Sunday that I have been helping organize. Worried that it will totally suck.

Okay- focus on the good things. Focus on the good things.

Keep moving forward

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A few people asked privately: "But how do you FEEL on T-Tapp?" So far, I am not sure. I really need more data. You know? I will note that my medical ID bracelet is suddenly looser. That is weird, but I assume it has something to do with the relative humidity being under 80% for the last few days. I can be hopeful that the T-Tapp is helping, but I am awaiting on my experiment.

******

We hired our contractor on Monday. On Tuesday, the deck went away. On Wednesday, a port-a-potty showed up. On Saturday, someone is coming in to dig up the foundation area and the drainage around the perimeter. The new thing is to have a drainage system to go to a cistern instead of daylight. The cistern then slowly releases the water back to the ground to prevent flooding downstream. It means more digging, but we will live. Next week, the foundation and drainage system go in. Very little building until September. We just signed on the $$ to pay for all of this (well, we have money to pay for it, we just aren’t liquidating everything to do this, KWIM?). On one hand I am very excited, on the other, I am so busy with life, that I can’t figure out how to do everything.

******

Luna- ah yes, my little ice skater. She is doing a double class of skating in the fall. She’s continuing with her group lessons and she is taking a class on edges. As in "how to use the edges of your skates instead of just the flat of the blade". These lessons are cheap and she loves them. I have a friend who I am hiring to drive Luna to the second class. It’s on a Wednesday, and I work in the office those days. Fortunately, I have a wonderful friend who is willing to drive her, lace her up and then drive her over to after school care for us. I am glad i have that. Now to figure out when we can do piano lessons for her.

 

*****

Soleil is a happy soul these days. She is excited about the return to school. Of course, I need to get the health form to school so they will LET her come, but eh, that’s just paperwork.

Life is good. That is helpful!

Vulnerable

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I had an appointment with my allergist yesterday. To recap, I went a year ago to test for cat and dog allergies so our family could choose a pet. I am allergic to both and we decided to do the regimen of weekly injections. In addition to cats and dogs, I am allergic to anything that has chlorophyll and mold and mites. I am not allergic to cockroaches, horses or penicillin! (Hey kids! let’s take that hissing cockroach for a walk!). Yesterday was supposed to be my appointment to review how the shots are going and if I can start looking at dogs.

However, Sunday’s bee sting changed all of that. I explained my reaction and our course of actions to my doctor. She asked what things they did, I told her what I remembered because I did black out a little. Then she got angry. I was told that the protocol for any form of anaphylaxis is to keep the person overnight. I should have been admitted to the hospital, she would have preferred ICU (I raised my eyebrows at this), because they monitor the patients closely. Apparently, severe reactions can reoccur within a few hours of the initial treatment. I did not know this. They did send me home from the hospital with some prednisone (Nance on Steroids! Woot!), but only enough for that night. No other instructions except call my allergist.

She immediately gave me more steroids. She ordered a 6 day supply, dropping 10 mg a day until I run out. I am also to take 2 claritin a day (12 hours apart) and benedryl as needed and at bedtime. I am not allowed any allergy injections for 1 month. We’ll test my blood to see which bee family member I am allergic to and we will start working on sensitizing me for that. Unfortunately, I may have to do a scratch test for this and to be honest, that scares me. I don’t know how I will react to that.

I really didn’t think this was that bad of a reaction. I never felt this was life-threatening. I was confused with the response from the hospital, and I felt I was only there for 20 minutes, when in truth it was about 1.5 hours. I was uncomfortable. I did have low blood pressure. I guess it was serious, but it still didn’t feel like it.

After talking to my doctor, I now feel, well, vulnerable. I have been asked to order a medical identifier bracelet. I did. I am allergic to a few serious things (bees, betadine and contrast dye are the biggies and seafood and fish, but they don’t cause swelling). I was able to fit all of that and Jay ICE number. I still don’t think it was that bad, but I guess it was. I need to be safe for the kids and with the amount I do outside with Girl Scouts, I want to make sure I will get the help I need in the case of an emergency.

I’m only 39. The thought that another bee sting could be fatal is kind of strange. I have a good 60 years to go. Odds are, I will get stung again. Hopefully we can identify which bees I am allergic to and get my body to not react so strongly to this.

I am really hating May and June this year.

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I remember the good old days, when I had two kids in daycare and dreamed about them going to school. What a fool I was!

I have so many things to deal with this month and next:

  • Luna has an ice skating competition mid-June. She now has to learn her routine with 3 extra lessons. Two of these lessons mean I am taking her away from school for 1 hour. I feel terrible about pulling her from school, but then I figure there are only 16 days left.. She’ll be fine, right? Right? (here’s where you tell me she’ll be FINE)
  • Soleil has her violin recital the first weekend of June. She is missing her next lesson because of Memorial Day. So we’ve rescheduled a lesson for next Wed. I’ll have to figure out my work schedule for that day.
  • We had our big Girl Scout encampment this month. And Luna’s troop had a Butterfly garden event.
  • Birthday parties. Luna’s is coming up. She ends school right before her birthday. And we have 4 parties that we either have gone to or will be going to before school ends.
  • Ice skating for Luna continues until June 21. Hockey clinic for Soleil continues until June 13, Soccer for both ends June 12, violin ends June 7(I hope) and piano somewhere around June 19.
  • The Pan Mass Challenge bike ride for kids is June 19.
  • We have tickets to a Red Sox game and Jimmy Buffet! The same week! Gah!
  • Teaching my kids that the phrase "What the heck!?" is only acceptable if little green aliens land in our yard and not acceptable to say when you are told it is dinner time.
  • Finally, the week school ends, we are cruising off to NC to visit my parents and to celebrate Luna’s 6th birthday. We need a little time away…

 

Coming soon…How to lose oneself while living the life you dreamed or "Now what?"