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Days past June 12, 2008

Posted by spacemom in : Life...otherwise , 2 comments

After dropping Soleil at her summer program, we drove Luna to her daycare. Only 15 more months of this! I can’t wait until they are both in the same summer program. We take Luna to a corporate day care, Br!ght H0riz0ns. She loves it. I like it too. It took several months to get used to it from our last corporate daycare, but I really like the cognitive approach they take towards kids. How everything is a learning experience and play is learning. We’ve really enjoyed it.

Today, we parked next to an empty spot for drop off. When we finally left Luna, we walked out to see a mom feeding her child still in the carseat next to us.

I remember those days. Soleil crying in the carseat. Luna not wanting to be strapped down. Feeding in the car. Remembering bottles, and diapers. And all without sleep. I enjoyed those days. I miss the baby fat and the coos and the smiles, but to be honest? I am so glad we are past them! Bring on the elementary days! I like these days much better!
 

update? June 6, 2008

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Man, what a week. Tonight is no exception.

You know that code I was working on? with quaternions? yeah, it’s broken. FUCK! I had it working and now it’s a pisser. Sigh

Any who… I need to update that photo of the girls, but I’ll wait until Wednesday. Soleil’s last day of School is Tuesday (yes, school ends with a 1 day week since there’s never kindergarten on Mondays…go figure)

Wednesday morning, we have an appointment to donate her hair! It is now down to her elbows. We’re going for a short bob for the summer! It should be almost to her shoulders by fall. This will look great on her and no more screams for brushing! She is so excited to do this because she had a friend in preschool with Alepcia and her friend lost all of her hair. Soleil wants to donate to make a wig for kids like her!
 

Fore! May 30, 2008

Posted by spacemom in : Life...otherwise, She Blinded me with Science , 2 comments

My car was hit yesterday. It was the most unexpected collision. There a was driving down the road between Lexington and Belmont (which I never know the name of because each town here HAS to change the name of the street when it gets to them. “ooh! look! Main street!” “No! we want to call it “The Great Road”" “NO! It’s the “Really Nice, But Not So Great Road” in our town”) Anyway, Here I was, just driving along and THUNK… A golf ball came flying out of the country club and nailed my side door. Good Lord! Luna and I both jumped about 20 feet! I watched the offending object bouncing along in the road and all I could think was “Golf balls bounce?”

Sigh

 

I actually have 5 pages of my 8 page paper! I am so proud of myself. I need to add FIGURES because we all know that FIGURES make the difference. They fill space! And they are FIGURES! Because NOBODY wants to just read 8 pages of text on spacecraft operations. Trust me on that. We want to see FIGURES! Now I just have to find some…FIGURES! that is! 

I just spell checked this post and I had ONE WORD misspelled. Which one? and. Yes folks, I can not spell the simple conjunctive word and.

 

Bobby’s words- What does “woman” mean? May 28, 2008

Posted by spacemom in : Life...otherwise , 4 comments

I have been reading. Jay picked up several books and left a few Robert B. Parker books. He left one called "Double Play"

This is one of Robert B. Parker’s best books. It deviates from the Spenser novels in that the main character is new to the reader. We don’t quite understand Burke’s history. The story is simple. An 18 year old ships off to war, he returns barely alive. After recovering, he finds his life in shambles and takes a job boxing. Slowly this job evolves to a "persuader" for people to pay their gambling debts to being a body guard. After being fired from one job, he is offered a very difficult assignment: Be the bodyguard for Jackie Robinson, the first black player in the National League.

If you are familiar with the Spenser books, then you know Parker’s style. His heroes are stiff in business and soft in bed. They love their women, but know how to distance themselves from the job. In the Spenser series, the sidekick is Hawke, a large black man whose street smarts and fighting style compliments Spenser. Hawke is no dummy, he is well read and well heeled, when he wants to be.

This book explores a whole other side of the black and white culture. It is fascinating to read how Burke and Jackie get along, work together, hail cabbies, eat together.

Interspersed in the story are chapters that are simply labeled "Bobby". It took me three of these to realize that Parker was referring to himself. These chapters are oddly disturbing. They change the story. The views of the culture after the war and the culture during the war were disturbing. Hearing how his parents wouldn’t sell their home to a Jewish family because it would "betray the neighbors" was upsetting.

But I think Parker nailed it with this quote:

The culture presented premenopausal women as girls 

This phrase has stayed with me. Is this the problem we have in our society with female equality? That men think of women as no more than large girls? Is this what people who are now in their 60s and 70s were taught? How about in the 50s and 60s? I think late 60s was the change. 

I am not a girl. I am a woman. I have change my own tire (with the right tools). I can take out the trash. I pump my own gas. I put up drywall. I do not kill spiders, but that’s a phobia, not a female thing. I bleed once a month for a week and live. I don’t need protection from a man, I need love and companionship.

Today, what does woman mean? I hear people call women "girls". "Girls’ night out" (No! Women’s night out! I am not a girl!) "The girls and I are getting together." "The girl at my office."

What does woman mean? I am careful to call any female over 18 a woman. She is legally an adult (except for drinking because our country is insane), she’s a woman. What does woman mean to you?

So what to do? May 27, 2008

Posted by spacemom in : Life...otherwise , 2 comments

I had a really rough week last week. I even lost my ATM card on top of everything I wrote about.

I decided to send the letter to my friend. If you know me, you must know, it was Crazy H that I wrote to.

See? Right there, this should give you some indications that I should do something. I am not sure what. You see, I’ve known Crazy H forever. When I say forever, I mean since we were 4. We ended up in the same dance class. We were friends in elementary, middle, high school. We talked via phone in college (pre-internet days, I am such a fossil).

I stood by her in many tough times, many of her own making. I could give hundreds of examples, but I’ll start with a simple one. When Jay and I decided that we couldn’t put off the wedding any longer, we made plans. Well, Crazy H got engaged too! And we were looking for a house. So were they! We had a few tough issues, this was back in 1997 and the market was heating up. We managed to get our bid accepted for the third place we offered on. Crazy H and Kobi? They offered on a place and took it for above the asking price because they were afraid that they would not get it. We low balled and moved up, they highball and got it.

I think they moved about the same time we did. We got married. They got married 2 months later. We stayed at our house for 5 years. They bailed after 2 because Crazy H "couldn’t take it anymore". Yes, the condo they bought was in a building that needed work. The previous treasurer had run off with money (did they look at the books before buying? NO) They decided, to make her happy, to cut and run. They sold and rented a place for a year. Now, the market was heating up in Boston around then. They used the extra money from the sale for debt, and then racked up more debt.  Then I got alot of "I wish we had what you have" from her. Sigh…

Finally, they decided they could buy again. Unfortunately, instead of investing their proceeds from the condo, they had spent it and they could not afford much. They bought a small 3 bedroom in a nearby town. We called it their POS house. It is getting better, but it is still so small that I am not amazed that the 4 of them sleep in one room still. We supported their move. We supported and helped with house construction/destruction. But I still get little snipes "oh your house is so much more grown up!"

But this is of their own making! We have chosen our lifestyle. They have chosen theirs. Can’t she see that? No. "Bad" things happen to them. "Good" things happen to us. Sigh.. This is but ONE example

 

So I sent the letter. I had originally said that we needed to talk and that I might have to walk away from the friendship. But Jay read it and we talked. We decided that I am not ready to walk away. So I changed that line. I don’t think she gets back from her trip until tonight. But the next question is what is she going to do? I know she will first be "shocked and upset" that I feel this way. Tough. get used to it. We do need to talk and deal with this. I miss having my crazy friend to talk to. Yes, she has flaws. We all do, but right now, this friendship is a one way street, and I’m the road.

So I wait. And see what happens.

 

Busy May 27, 2008

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I got a postponement on my paper. It is now due June 9. 

I have a very busy day and I want to write. But I must write my paper instead. There will be more this week! I promise 

The trees speak–Part 2 May 15, 2008

Posted by spacemom in : Life...otherwise , 5 comments

We had a very crazy moving day. My friend was having a memorial for her stillborn Trisomy 18 son. My MIL was in town to help with the move, we asked a friend to stay at our old house with the movers because we had the memorial to attend. We did all of this.

We threw Soleil in a box. Because we could. We slowly got the house together. My friend’s mother-in-law and mine set up our kitchen. I still don’t get how they set it up.

On April 6, I finally got around to hanging a shower curtain that wasn’t musty in our shower. As I stood on my tiptoes on a step stool to hang the pressure rod, my calf muscle ripped. I heard it before I felt it. I spent the remainder of my birthday in the hospital trying to determine if I broke a bone, ripped the Achilles or if I had ripped the muscle. 3rd degree tear. I was on crutches for weeks.

The house next to ours had sold about the same time ours did. We moved in about the same time. The owners were Ray and Julie (not their real names) and they were a quiet couple. We had decided against that house because it was so big, and it needed lots of repairs. Every room needed to be repainted in ours, but in that house, every room also needed wall repairs. They spent the first year fixing up the interior while we tried to do the same while I hobbled on crutches.

One day, we saw that Julie was marking trees on their yard with orange ribbons. We went over and asked. They were planning to remove a few trees because their basement was so wet. (huh?) Julie explained that the trees must be preventing the sun from soaking up the water in the ground, therefore, they were removing trees (anyone else see the problem here? Anyone???) We were concerned because our yard is lower than theirs and some of the trees they marked were close to our border. We drew up an agreement that if we agreed for them to remove three trees that were at the edge of the property, they would replace it with a flowering tree. We came home one day and found the trees gone. About 30 trees. The beautifully treed property was now just filled with stumps.

We couldn’t believe it. All stumps. Yucky dead stumps. We were shocked by the loss. It was as if someone had ripped out our souls. It was horrifying. I admit, I cried. Over the next few weeks, Jay would talk with Ray about things. Turns out, he didn’t want to pay for stump removal. He didn’t realize how horrible it would look. Then after about 5 weeks, they got the property surveyed.

The front corner where we had been mowing was suddenly revealed to be on THEIR side, but the three trees that they removed, the ones we signed an agreement about? Completely, totally on our property. OMG! The survey was so they could level the land and remove the stumps. Because the three stumps were on "our side" they refused to remove them. And they started to yell at us for mowing the front corner.

good.

 

(Images from GlobeXplorer (copywrited?)

April 2001

We were so upset by the turn of events, that we bought three trees to put on that side of our property, two evergreens and 1 Japanese dogwood. Julie screamed at us when they were planted. "We just got rid of the stupid trees! How dare you plant them so close to our property!" I was good. I WANTED to give her the finger, but I didn’t. I was good.

(see why we were upset? SEE???)

The trees speak—part 1 May 14, 2008

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Several years ago, we had a screaming insane bouncing baby girl. Jay’s family (aka the towering behemoths) came to visit. We quickly realized we needed a bigger house. We started the house search in September. After visited house after house after house, I was getting discouraged. To be honest, I enjoyed the McMansions (ducking from the readers!), but the layouts were less than desirable. Either the dinning room was set funny, or the living room was from to back, which I don’t like. It just didn’t work!

Finally, we saw several houses in our current town. There were two houses on one street that were both for sale. The neighbors decided to move to a retirement community together. The first house was a split entry and the second was a full colonial with a basement. We walked through both. The second was about $65K more than the first. Soleil needed a bottle and I sat on the couch of the lower level of the first house. The paneled walls gave me the willies and the bar (yes BAR) was a little weird. But slowly, I could see this becoming our house! I really could.

Jay and I decided on an offer. The night before we were to put it in, I was wallowing in my PPD. I had just been diagnosed and I was panicking. Jay called our broker and canceled the offer. Then he had a trip for a meeting. A friend came over for an evening and we talked about the house. I told her my fears and slowly worked through them. When Jay got back, I told him that we needed to put in an offer. One offer. Take it or leave it. We arranged a sliding price scale (stupid of us) for different closing dates. Now I know that we should have closed earlier and gotten work done before we moved in. They took our offer.

We moved in March 31. The house was warm and welcoming. It needed some work (read pull down that damn wallpaper) and I needed to paint the downstairs and REMOVE THE BAR, but we had a new, and larger space.

Playing Favorites May 7, 2008

Posted by spacemom in : Life...otherwise, Kids , 2 comments

The interstellar Medium is - a fortune teller from Alpha Centuri

My former adviser had a question on his Astronomy 101 test that asked what the Interstellar medium was. My favorite choice was "a fortune teller from Alpha Centuri".  It always made me think of my favorite book, "A Wrinkle in Time" . One chapter is devoted to a visit to a Happy Medium. I love this chapter as the characters get to explore themselves and their companions.

Recently, Soleil asked for a visit to the local library. I said yes and she excitedly selected 4 books. One of the books was "A Wind in the Door", the third book about the Murry family from "Wrinkle". I told her that the book was a llittle above her level, but if she really wanted it, we could start with the first book, "Wrinkle".

Over 4 days, we read this book together. My girls curled next to me while I tried to use proper intonations for Mrs. Whatsit, Mrs. Who and Mrs. Which. I didn’t even try to pronounce the Greek quotes of Mrs. Who. I did draw out the words for Mrs. Which. We covered the whole grounds of love, caring, math, tessering, and five dimensional space.

Soleil often interrupted to ask what words meant. At first she enjoyed the idea of all of the children bouncing balls and jumping rope in rhythm, until she realized they had no choice. Luna got scared when she discovered the true nature of IT.

But in the end, love won out and everyone returned home to land in the twins broccoli patch.

And I have now introduced the girls to my favorite book of all time.

Dear Smithsonian Institution April 25, 2008

Posted by spacemom in : Life...otherwise , 4 comments

Dear Sirs and Madams,

When purchasing items for your museum gift shops please consider placing a warning on products such as "buying your three year old child a  Cherry blossom plant kit will cause undue stress because you need to SOAK the seeds for 24 hours before even considering planting them and then you need to put them in COLD STORAGE for 30 days in the fridge."

Please find enclosed with this letter,  a USB stick that contains an audio file of the screaming that will ensue  when I explain to said three year old that we need to have her seeds chill out before she can watch them grow. Please consider playing this audio file to all employees whose duties include buying new merchandise for the stores.

Thank you,

Spacemom