Posted by spacemom in : Weblogs ,
Posted by spacemom in : Weblogs ,
UGH! I am getting so frustrated! I am getting bots that come through my blog and put up trackbacks on old posts. These are for P*rN or for drug or damn Viagr@ UGH! I had 22 trackbacks today!
It is hard for me to go back and remove all of the trackbacks from my old posts….sigh….
Anyone else have trouble with this? Suggestions?
Posted by spacemom in : Weblogs, Religion ,
Yes, I was hoping to get a quick post in before the day really hit me hard. But, oy! Start with the bus being EARLY and you get the picture of today. I make the girls leave the house at 8:25 (so we really leave around 8:28). We need to walk about 1/6 mile to the bus stop. It’s not far, but it is around the corner. We got to the bus stop at 8:33 and BOOM at 8:35 the bus was there. The boy at the corner house almost missed it. His mom ran him across the street and got him on the bus. Whew!
We had two meltdowns in the car; one because Soleil got the pretty pony tail holder and one because we’re three and who needs a reason to meltdown when you’re three? G-d, I hate three. There are so many great parts of this age, just to be blown out of the water by Toddler Insanity. Really, I think it’s been declared by the APA that children who are three are affected by Toddler Insanity. If I were Dave Barry, I would say that Toddler Insanity is a great name for a band.
Finally, we made it to daycare, when another meltdown occurred because Daddy was going to make it to the door first.(Note to self. Find copy of Alfie Kohn’s No Contest. Use this as a bedtime story.)
I’ve been avoiding the "post once a day in November" stuff because, well, I post every work day and occasionally on weekends. It is fun reading everyone else’s blogs, but really, I can’t keep up. I have a life somewhere in here.
But yesterday, one of my favorite bloggers*** who shall remain nameless, titled a post "Arbeit macht frei".
I couldn’t remember the translation, but the title was enough to unnerve me. In truth, the blogger was not trying to offend. She was upset over a topic. She later changed the title to the English and later changed it again.
It is amazing how little words can hurt. To me, this phrase brings hurt to my children. They don’t even know it. This weekend, our town is holding a memorial for Kristallnacht. Please take a moment to read that link. I’ll wait.
You back? Good. Think about this. I think about our temple. The beauty of the sanctuary. The handcarved ark that holds three Torot (Torah scrolls). I am not terribly religious, but I shudder at these thoughts… Imagine, people bursting in and destroying this all. Imagine being forced to a camp or beating to death just for being Jewish. My children would be accepted as Jews by the haters and probably not as Jews by the faithful (blood line goes through the mother). Could something like this happen today?
You think it can’t. You know it can’t, right? I mean it’s not like the United States would ever round up people based on their religion and torture them and force them to live in a camp? We’re tolerant now. Right? We respect all religions (unless you are atheist. Then you are scum of the earth(that’s SARCASM– I support atheists 100%))
Imagine this, one small title on a blog post. Having nothing to do with religion at all, brought on these strong feelings… Words hurt. Use them carefully.
***If you know this blogger, understand that I am NOT upset at her in any way. She is a wonderful person. I am not mad at her. She changed the title when people questioned her on it. And NO, I will not respond to questions of who it was. She does not deserve any bad press. This is a post about how words brought on such strong feelings….
Posted by spacemom in : Weblogs ,
Side note of the day: Soleil has Dacryocystitis. Tear duct infections. Lovely. She already had a minor procedure for this, but now we might need surgery. With lasers. Nance is not a happy camper. Not at all.
Sometimes, you run across bloggers that make you think, and hard. Lately, Jody over at Raising WEG has been doing this. There are 2 recent issues she brought up. I want to discuss hiring help for the house today. I have a house cleaner. I started this when I was on bed rest with Soleil. I suddenly was confined to the couch. I was not a happy camper. I hired a local company.
I ended up with two different women every time. They were white, American workers. I paid the company. I talked to some of the women and I found from their conversations that things were tough for them. Living paycheck to paycheck and trying to get enough for rent and their kids. I couldn’t decide if it was good, or bad to have hired this company. After Soleil was born, I was not comfortable with this company. Lots of reasons, but we fired them.
When we moved to our current house, I hired a friend. She was great. She had started her own business and she did a great job. Unfortunately, she had to quit to work in an office to make more money. We always paid her in cash. I spoke to friends and found another woman. She was from Brazil. She was wonderful, but she had her daughter do our house and slowly that relationship fell apart. We found another woman (again Brazilian) and we worked with her for a while, but then the first Brazilian woman asked if she could work with us again.
After much talking, we decided to hire her. Let’s call her J for fun! J left Brazil with her husband and two children. She joined family here in the States. She went through an abusive marriage, divorced her husband and raised the kids. She started cleaning houses for other people and then started her own business. As far as I know, she is a legal immigrant. I know she hires family. I do not know if she hires legally or not.
Jody brought up the issue of using immigrants for cleaning. Are we exploiting immigrants by hiring them "under the table?" This is a very good question. I think about J. Now J is a bit of an anomaly. She LIKES cleaning. She loves it! She has told me "this is hard work, but I love to see and smell clean houses". I don’t get it! I like clean houses too, but I hate the work!
Jody wrote
Cleaning my house should not be an underground activity conducted by
people living on the margins of our economy. My aunt for many years
hired a local woman to clean her house, a farmer’s wife who reported
all her income and furnished documents to her employers every year at
tax time. I’d be more than happy to do that. Not one of the people I know locally with house cleaners has such an arrangement.
And she is correct, I have never asked J if she does income tax or how she works the Medicaid, etc. I DO know that J is documented. She goes back to Brazil once a year and this means she has the paperwork to travel. But she does drive a early model vehicle. She has a great relationship with a friend of mine and she once asked for an advance of payment because her cash flow was tight. She has called us about switching days and times so she can see a doctor (which I completely said yes). We have slipped her an extra $20 when the house is extra dirty. But we have never asked her "How do you pay your family?"
I don’t think, at this point, I would change my hiring of J. We definitely give her extra money at holiday time (and BEFORE Christmas, so she has the cash to buy what she needs, not after) and we tell her often how much we appreciate her. But do we contribute to her being pushed to the edge of the middle-lower class in the Boston Metro area? The rents here are outrageous. Really. She loves it here (there is a large Brazilian population in Boston). But can she afford it here? Her rates are not dirt cheap. She is not much cheaper than a company who can come out with different people each time and with insurance to make sure our home is safe… These are the same companies that offer ads with "Our women speak English!", the ads that make me just a little sick to read….
I don’t know, but dang it Jody, you are making me think!
Posted by spacemom in : Weblogs ,
Johnny asked if I could do this while we wait for Mrs. Figby to catch up!
1) Read the meme that was dumped assigned to you. Answer the questions.
2) Add TWO new questions to the list. Answer those questions.
3) Forward Dump this onto the next blogger victim (and list their name and link to their blog).
4) This series will conclude when we get 50 questions - so yes, it’s 25 bloggers in the chain.
5) Please make sure that the next victim in the “link” doesn’t have a password protected blog.
[Optional 6] Update the links so people can follow along (this is similar to the method I used in the Why China series).
[Optional 7] When you see an update, down the chain, update your own page with the new questions and answers.
[Optional 8] Copy these micromanaging instructions into the top of your meme post.
1. What secret/surprising/personal goal (that is realistically achievable within the next 15 years) would you like to fulfill?
I would love to learn how to really hike. I don’t mean just a stroll in the woods, but how to hand rock scrambles, which terrify me, and how to carry gear and get water, etc. I want to be able to take a day or 2 day hike without being terrified.
2. Can you list an event in which you made a last minute decision or guess that significantly changed the path of your life?
I was planning to work on an undergraduate research project with a grad student. However, over the winter break, I discovered I would be a Resident Assistant. I decided to skip the research project. When the time came to tell the grad student that I wasn’t going to do it, I suddenly changed my mind. The grad student was Jay….
3. What is one unrealistic goal (but your total secret
dream) that you would love to come true, but are pretty sure it won’t
ever happen?
Writing a book and/or opening a bakery.
4. Who has had the most influence on your life and what did they teach you?
Honestly, I have to say Jay. He came from a completely different upbringing and it opened a whole new way of looking at the world. We do disagree on some basics, but I find that I now view some basic human interactions differently than I did when I was child/teen.
5. You are on a deserted island. You are stranded with
someone from any point in time for 2 months (they are coming to rescue
you but are busy right now). Other then family/friends/naval engineers,
who is it?
I would want Albert Einstein. He had an incredible philosophy of life. I would love to just talk with him and not about physics.
6.Name and describe 3 things on your mind lately. Is there any particular reason why you’re thinking about a particular thing?
- My work. I am working on a complex code right now. The people I work with think I am a gifted programmer. I am terrified that it is going to fail in the basic job it has to do because I don’t completely understand the math.
- The party. Jay’s parents have their 50th anniversary on December 1st. We’re holding a rather large party in Cleveland for it.
- My parents. Mom just got news that she has a genetic clotting factor so she has to take heparin shots whenever she travels. We were hoping they would visit us late December, but I don’t think it is going to work out.
7. If you could go back to one moment in time and change it, what would the moment be and what would you change it from and to?
If it was something out of my control? It would be the day Corey died. I would somehow prevented that first truck in the convoy from going over the train tracks. If the first truck hadn’t gone, then Corey’s wouldn’t have gone, and he wouldn’t have died.
In my control? I guess it would be a date with an ex-boyfriend. I couldn’t explain something well enough and it led to our breakup. I wish I could have explained it better at the time.
8. What is your biggest pet peeve and is there anything that you can do or not do to stop other people from doing it?
Not listening. Too many people yell at each other and don’t listen to the other point of view.
9. Who has been the most influential teacher in your life
and why did he or she have such an impact on you? Have you sent them a
note?
Doc. He was my math teacher and he ran the musicals/plays at school. I talked to him every time I saw him. He was a person who really challenged students. He knew who could do things and how to challenge them. And he taught me that "arc" in trig just means "AngleWhoose" as in "arc cosine" means "AngleWhoose cosine is". He died 2 years ago.
10. What three things do you regret not learning to do?
- Continuing learning French in College
- Swimming well (I can swim, not well)
- Taking more art classes
11. What is your biggest fear?
The house burning down. Every time we go away, I have a mental image of the house burning down. I know it goes back to me being a kid and having a sleepover where the house caught on fire, but it’s still a bit extreme.
12. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Having more willpower.
13. What is the answer to life, the universe, everything?
42.
14. If you knew, beforehand, that the wait for your child
from China would take this long and drastic a time frame, would you
still go through with it or would you choose another country
N/A
15. What is one food that most people like that you do not like at all?
Mushrooms. I used to call them "slime critters from outer space". My argument was that when you eat them, they embed themselves in your brain so us non eaters would be the ones to save y’all when the mother ship calls.
16. Name one place in the world you would love to spend at
least one month visiting? Is there anywhere on earth that is so
repulsive to you that there is no amount of money that could convince
you to visit it?
Hawai’i
No. I really thought hard, but I think I could even visit Iran/Iraq and the hot beds of the world right now.
17. What book have you just finished reading and why did you pick it up? Would you recommend it to others?
I just finished "The Bourne Ultimatum". I picked it up because my flight to Cleveland was delayed in August. And I love the Bourne series. Yes, I would recommend it to others.
18. Share a relatively quick and easy recipe for Fall. One pot/dish recipes given extra credit.
The Crockpot cow
- Stew beef or pot roast.
- 1 onion, diced
- 2 cloves of garlic, diced
- 1 can of low sodium cream of mushroom soup (shut up! I know my answer above)
- 1cup of old sour red wine
- 1 package of onion soup mix
Saute onion and garlic in olive oil until clear,
toss can of soup & soup mix in crock pot. Mix it up. Add wine,and onion/garlic mix. stir.
Add meat and cover meat with the mixture. Cover for 6-8 hours on low. Serve with egg noodles and veggie of choice.
19. Would you rather be financially well off, but unhappy or a happy person who is always in need of money?
I would rather be mentally healthy and deal with the money issues. I find that our society is big on how much stuff people have, but I find a good time is better than a new ipod. OF course, too little money can affect one’s happiness, but I think I would rather have the financial troubles.
20. What is the most comforting sound in the world to you and why?
I love the sound of the ocean. It has to be waves. Ocean waves, not those wimpy lake waves. The ocean always leaves me longing for something. I don’t know why, but if my soul is sad, the ocean makes all of the difference in the world.
The next victim is still Mrs. Figby . So she moved across the country, has school issues with her middle child and is buying a house, Plah-lease. As if the rest of us don’t have drama! (Just kidding Mrs. F! I know you are busy). Please go over and
harass her until she posts the next installment.
Posted by spacemom in : Weblogs, Spacemom, Travel ,
Today, we drove down to Olympia, and the D family (from No More Work than One) drove up from their home in the PNW, and we met for lunch and play. Things went well! D was not an axe murderer, nor was K2. S2 and H2 are adorable, but mostly played together, which was fine, as the place we went to was mobbed with kids. D and Jay spent time talking about Moore’s law and other geeky stuff. K2 and I spoke of simpler stuff like zipper workshops for sewing.
Soleil and Luna had fun, but they both fell down at different points and I had to break out the princess bandaids. S2 and H2 have not yet met the princesses. Good for them. Because once they do, it’s all downhill from there!
We had a lot of fun and D and I made fun of Jay because we could spot the Starbucks a block away and he couldn’t (he’s caffeine deprived, what can I do?)
Then we got back and had dinner with family and watched movies. I checked my work email to discover another code had broken and man, is that frustrating. At least I could diagnose the issue with out even looking at the code. Stupid databases.
So, we are getting close to the actual reason for this vacation, a Bar Mitzvah. I hope we survive the stress of a family gathering!
Sunrise
August 11, 2007
Posted by spacemom in : Weblogs, Current Affairs, Travel ,
Soleil woke me up a little bit ago and I can’t fall back asleep.
The sun is rising here and it is beautiful.
Sorry for all of the heavy posts. I am slowly working through everything. I will miss the funeral next week, sigh.
The mono is seriously kicking my butt. My sore throat is better, but sleep is difficult. I spent yesterday sleeping. A bit. My bosses are great about everything and gave me any sick time I needed to take to get better. But I haven’t been writing as much because my spare time is taken up by sleep.
Next week, we travel to the west coast. The first day will be long and tough, as the tickets are frequent flyer tickets and they are never convenient. Then a ferry ride, a drive, a quick shop for food for the week and finally, we will arrive at our destination, a small island in Puget Sound.
We are going to meet D of No More Work Than One and originally I had hoped to catch up with Mrs. Figby, but given her sudden moving plans, I figure to let her have one less thing to stress about. Besides, she’s moving to this coast and I live near a small airport (if they ever fly to Boston), so there’s always other chances in the future.
I want to give a quick shout of support for WhyMommy. She’s having a rough week with chemo. Given that a simple virus is getting me, I can’t imagine how chemo is getting her fatigued. Go over and say hi for me, give her some encouraging words.
Posted by spacemom in : Weblogs ,
It’s been a crazy summer. I know 3 people personally who have cancer and are fighting this summer. I know Whymommy on the web. I hate this.
So I am taking a quick break today to have you go read this petition
The idea is to allow doctors and patients determine how long the hospital stay after a mastectomy the woman should stay. Right now, the insurance companies decide. Some women are not even allowed an overnight stay. Imagine, losing a body part and having to just go home to deal?
Cancer is already attacking these women. Why should insurance companies do it too?
Thanks
Posted by spacemom in : Weblogs ,
I’ve had a sinus infection for a few weeks now. Since I prefer to let viruses (virii?) run their course, I let it go, but this weekend it got rough. So today I went to to the doctor where we decided I am "somewhat itisy" and gave my amoxicillan.
The weird part is when I got my temp taken. I explained that I fevered over the weekend and the nurse said "but your temp is low at 97.4" I almost said "Duh, that’s because I am ovulating today and my temp won’t go up for another day. Check it on Thursday and it will be 98.2"
Yes, My baby is 3 years old and I still can tell you
a) my pre-ovulation temp
b) my post-ovulation temp
c) my ovulation day and sometimes the time
Once you traverse the roller coaster of infertility, you never forget. Some people who are still on the ride don’t realize that. There is the thought (and I was there too, so don’t think I am talking about YOU) that "You have a kid! How could you possibly understand!"
But I do. I was there. I am forever in touch with my sucky reproductive self.
I know far more about reproduction than I ever cared to.
And I have not forgotten the pain of finding that another cycle failed. Or the pain of seeing a babe in a mom’s arms. Or a smiling pregnant woman.
Posted by spacemom in : Weblogs ,
You may notice a new image on my sidebar.
I have joined Team WhyMommy.
WhyMommy is a scientist who is a stay at home mom. Her boys are 2 years younger than my girls. And she just discovered she has breast cancer.
I know too many cancer patients right now, from our cousin Lauren, to a co-worker, to a friend and now WhyMommy. Luckily, only a few I know have lost the battle. Most have won. So I invite you to go over and support WhyMommy. She can use the positive thoughts. Not the bullshit lovely dovey stuff, but the positive, "You can beat this" stuff.
